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Personal Account: My Brain on Sales
By MP Dunleavey Friday April 02, 2010
MP Dunleavey is DailyWorth's Editorial Director.Stress Spending
Last weekend was a hectic (but fun) time with family—but it was peppered with work, and followed by a high-pressure Monday morning meeting.
Worse, everywhere I went there was another store window with "SALE" plastered all over it. And... all I wanted to do was shop.
This Is Your Brain on Sales
It was as if some part of my brain took over, and said that it was OK to cut loose because I was stressed—not because I had any extra cash.
I write a lot about the psychology of money and spending, including this recent MSN column about stealth budgets. I know from long experience that I tend to be an emotional spender—and many studies show that for some people (ahem) spending releases happy chemicals in the brain.
Cashflow Control
So, there I was, staring at the mouth-watering Anthropologie window. I was smart enough to ask myself: Why are you giving yourself license to spend?
"Because I'm stressed! And then I'll feel better!" came the merry reply.
"You can't shop when you're all wound up," I told myself. And then, dear DW readers... I walked away.
Bottom Line
It's possible to triumph over long-held, unhealthy patterns—and I'm living, money-saving proof. Tell us about your financial victories here.
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Written by LobotoME, April 02, 2010
good for you for walking away - anthropologie is my weak spot too!
Written by kes, April 02, 2010
I have several tricks I use to avoid emotional spending: I'll ask myself if I'd be willing to drive back tomorrow to buy it. Or I'll check my mental list of things I need; if I can't find it there, I don't buy it. I sometimes calculate how many hours I have to work to earn the money for something; many times that has gotten me to put something back because it's not worth however many hours at work. Finally, I'll think about what I'll have to not buy later if I buy "this" now.
Written by Mary, April 02, 2010
Same as KES, my favorite trick is to figure out how many hours of work it would take to buy something. That usually results in me doing a lot less of impulse buying--I just don't want to let go of the money!
Written by Kate, April 02, 2010
MP - I read the "stealth spending" article on MSN when it came out and was waiting for a similar one here - I thought it was totally on point! I definitely have a "budget" and a BUDGET. The second often gets used and does not account for protecting savings, having a little left over at the end of the month, or anything else. I'm getting married this month and have notice that anything with the word "wedding" attached seems to be my secret password to instantly open my wallet - thank goodness that excuse can't last forever! I hope I can master your skill of walking away!
Written by k, April 02, 2010
I use paying off my debt and contributing to my 401k as the biggest incentive not to spend. With my current plan I will be debt free in Jan 2012. I can't believe I will be paying off $10000 next year. That's about 1/3 of what I make but it is worth it to be done with debt.
I am not sacrifing too much though. I have a vacation planned for this summer, I just upgraded to a basic laptop, and got tires for my car. Some things are necessary: vacation for destressing, the laptop for school, and up keep on my car for less major repairs later. All with cash too!
I am not sacrifing too much though. I have a vacation planned for this summer, I just upgraded to a basic laptop, and got tires for my car. Some things are necessary: vacation for destressing, the laptop for school, and up keep on my car for less major repairs later. All with cash too!
Written by Chris, April 02, 2010
I'm 37, a teacher, and single mom of a teenager. A few years of under-employment early in my career turned me into a saver. I bought a fixer-upper house that I've been working on myself. I'll admit to being a bit jealous of the lovely homes of my dual-income well-to-do friends, but that ended this past recession as I saw many of them go through horrible financial stress and some families lose their homes and end up in tiny apartments.
I am debt-free with the exception of my home, which is half paid off. My car is only a few years old and paid for. I was recently laid off from my teaching job of 7 years. This could be a devastating time for my daughter and I, but with 18 mos. living expenses in the bank, I'm using the opportunity to fully launch my small business instead. I have never been more excited to be laid off in my life!
I mastered the ability to walk away some time ago, and it is TOTALLY worth it. Financial freedom is the key to achieving your dreams, and it can be done on so much less than most people think it can.
I am debt-free with the exception of my home, which is half paid off. My car is only a few years old and paid for. I was recently laid off from my teaching job of 7 years. This could be a devastating time for my daughter and I, but with 18 mos. living expenses in the bank, I'm using the opportunity to fully launch my small business instead. I have never been more excited to be laid off in my life!
I mastered the ability to walk away some time ago, and it is TOTALLY worth it. Financial freedom is the key to achieving your dreams, and it can be done on so much less than most people think it can.
Written by Dreamcatcher09, April 02, 2010
I finally did it, I opened an account at Bank of America, with save the change, and automatic deposits in my savings of $110.00 a month. I am so proud of myself. Officially i still have 120.00 dollars in my sons account, and I have 25.00 in my own savings. I am keeping the one in my sons account to keep for minor emergancies, and the other one that is in Bank of America, will be for my new car, I will keep depositing money in both savings. I hope I can keep it up. The checking account will be for bill pay. And I will use cash for the rest. I feel so independant. I hope I can make it.
Written by Kenia, April 02, 2010
I don't know if this is true or not, but it seems to me that the psychology of budgeting/spending, is the same as the psychology of dieting (dieting/splurging) and time management (scheduling/wasting time). I have to wonder if the source of self-discipline is from the same locations in the brain, and if a person is good at one of those things, it's therefore easier for them to be good at the other things too (or anything else requiring discipline for that matter).
@ Chris - speaking of psychology, I obviously can't know for sure, but it sounds like there's a possibility your friends may have succumbed to 'keeping up with the joneses' and bought houses they couldn't really afford. Sounds to me like you're very intelligent with your money, and you should be SO proud that you have a house that is 50% paid off (AND it's the only debt you've got!). You're much wealthier than most people, regardless of whether or not your salary is smaller than others, or if you're a single mom. It sounds to me like you've got a stellar balance sheet! I just have to give you kudos for that. :)
@ Chris - speaking of psychology, I obviously can't know for sure, but it sounds like there's a possibility your friends may have succumbed to 'keeping up with the joneses' and bought houses they couldn't really afford. Sounds to me like you're very intelligent with your money, and you should be SO proud that you have a house that is 50% paid off (AND it's the only debt you've got!). You're much wealthier than most people, regardless of whether or not your salary is smaller than others, or if you're a single mom. It sounds to me like you've got a stellar balance sheet! I just have to give you kudos for that. :)
Written by Valbona, April 02, 2010
I make a list of things that I need or want to buy, especially when it comes to my wardrobe, and when I see something on sale I mentally compare it to that list. If its not on there, I don't buy it. For me its an easy way to check whether I really need it or its an impulse buy. I've had too many impulse buys in the past that I am ready to spend my money to follow other passions.
Written by Jaime, April 02, 2010
Some people wait 24 hours or 2 weeks or whatever before making a purchase, to make sure they really want it and it's not an impulse buy. I'm sort of opposite. I'll still buy it, but I don't use it or wear it for a bit. It wastes gas to return the item sometimes, but I get that emotional high from shopping while still keeping to my financial goals.
lol, this is my baby step. Eventually I'll be able to skip buying it, but right now I just make sure I don't close the return road before I'm sure I really want to keep something. It means I still spend more than I should because it's awfully easy to just keep something, but I've gotten A LOT better at either skipping the purchase or returning unneeded items since I've stopped beating myself up about buying in the first place.
lol, this is my baby step. Eventually I'll be able to skip buying it, but right now I just make sure I don't close the return road before I'm sure I really want to keep something. It means I still spend more than I should because it's awfully easy to just keep something, but I've gotten A LOT better at either skipping the purchase or returning unneeded items since I've stopped beating myself up about buying in the first place.
Written by Jean LeFebvre, April 02, 2010
OK - my profession is personal image consulting and I HATE it when anyone says they cannot dress well because of budget constraints. Here is my contribution as a frugalista.
When I just can't make it one more day without something new for me (I get paid to shop for others) here is the guilt free way I handle it: Take $10 (really ONLY $10) and head to your local thrift shop. My best score this year was a black leather pencil skirt for $6. That one piece changed my winter wardrobe from blah to va-va-voom! I wasn't even tempted for the rest of the season. Right now the thrifts are full of cute summer tops for $2-$5. Just remember to wash or dry clean before you wear them as they don't always enforce those rules with their donors.
You have to play with this budget thing, if it gets too serious you run the risk of a revolt by the material girl. But I don't let her bust up the budget. I can even feel like I'm helping the environment by recycling.
Now I take groups of clients on thrift store tours and have assembled whole wardrobes for less than $100. Take your $10 and go forth and play!
When I just can't make it one more day without something new for me (I get paid to shop for others) here is the guilt free way I handle it: Take $10 (really ONLY $10) and head to your local thrift shop. My best score this year was a black leather pencil skirt for $6. That one piece changed my winter wardrobe from blah to va-va-voom! I wasn't even tempted for the rest of the season. Right now the thrifts are full of cute summer tops for $2-$5. Just remember to wash or dry clean before you wear them as they don't always enforce those rules with their donors.
You have to play with this budget thing, if it gets too serious you run the risk of a revolt by the material girl. But I don't let her bust up the budget. I can even feel like I'm helping the environment by recycling.
Now I take groups of clients on thrift store tours and have assembled whole wardrobes for less than $100. Take your $10 and go forth and play!
Written by Kim Miles, April 03, 2010
I have been doing the Dave Ramsey Total Money Make Over and have also been disciplined about my spending. At first I would go to the store, pick up something that I wanted but really didn't need and make it all the way to the register before my common sense brain kicked in and I would have to tell the checker, "I have decided not to buy this". That on its own was rather embarrassing but I felt good that I was being smart. After several MONTHS of this, I am finally to the point that I exercise control before I get to the register. Believe me, if I can do it, anyone can.
Written by Sophie, April 03, 2010
Good article MP, thanks. I've noticed that I go on buying sprees when I'm exhausted, I'll go and get DVDs, a cute T-shirt, maybe some candle holders - all nice things I'd wanted for a while but that didn't qualify as Must Haves. I now realize when I go to pay that all that is not getting me what I really need: food, water and a nap. I now put it all back and go an nurture myself, not harm my wallet. Took me quite a while to figure this pattern out, but what a revelation!
Written by Brandy, April 05, 2010
I admit I get the urge to go shopping at least 1-2x a week but I find when i get to the store and I find things i want and have to have I put it in the cart and depending on how long I stroll thru aisles I find myself talking myself out of it. By the time I am at the check out I have 1 or 2 things instead of 5-6 and sometimes nothing at all. As a mom I find I spend alot on my daughter rather than on myself but here in the last year or so I find just being in the store and looking at things is enough for me.
Written by Amanda, April 05, 2010
I do the "how many hours do I have to work to pay for this" thing. Most times it work, sometimes it doesn't. (Those are pretty rare, so I figure I must *really* want what I buy then!)
Chris: I'm soooooooooooooo impressed! 18 months worth of living expenses in the bank?!?!?! You're an inspiration!
Chris: I'm soooooooooooooo impressed! 18 months worth of living expenses in the bank?!?!?! You're an inspiration!
Written by Erin, April 05, 2010
I too, am an emotional spender. The current issue of readymade magazine (readymade.com) has a great little craft project on protecting your credit cards. It is essentially a scrap of fabric sewn around your card. In order to use it, you must cut off the sewn-on case. The example has the words "Clothes are not an emergency" stitched to it. A little extreme, but so clever.
Written by Theresa, April 08, 2010
I nevcer go shopping without a list. Not only grocery shopping, but I also write a list of the things I need to get when I go to the mall. I go in and get the things that I need, and then I get out, before I get lured into the stores with the huge SALE advertisements in their windows. All my coupons that I plan to use are clipped to my list. A little bit of organization before you go out the door can save you a bunch of cash.
Written by Aimee, May 05, 2010
Just found this site through Cool Mom Picks and I love it! I need you all with me when I'm shopping to tell me: "put it back, don't need that, no, not that either, definitely not that!" I need help. :)
Written by Carmen, May 29, 2010
Well, I just spend $1,000 in two weeks and 1/3 of that was bills and groceries. I do good sometimes and remind myself not to go crazy with spending. I have a 8 month old baby and for entertainment we go to LifeTime fitness gym, the problem is that it's at the mall. I'll take him for a stroll and that's when it gets dangerous. I clip coupons and TRY to be frugal, but it's just not in me. HELP!!
btw my husband has no idea i spend this much, please advise!
btw my husband has no idea i spend this much, please advise!
Written by Rachael, June 02, 2010
@Carmen...
My mom usually goes walking at the mall for exercise during the winter months. One way to curb 'urges to spend' is to not bring your purse in. Lock it in the glovebox and leave all Credit Cards at home. That way - at the very least you have to walk all the way back to your car for $$ - and to charge something you'd need to drive back to your house. This will give you time to consider the decision... I hope this helps...
My mom usually goes walking at the mall for exercise during the winter months. One way to curb 'urges to spend' is to not bring your purse in. Lock it in the glovebox and leave all Credit Cards at home. That way - at the very least you have to walk all the way back to your car for $$ - and to charge something you'd need to drive back to your house. This will give you time to consider the decision... I hope this helps...
Written by Jennifer Rutsky, June 09, 2010
I'll go "fake" online shopping a lot to get it out of my system, I'll go to a website, browse, even click on things to put in my cart but never check out. Just the process of shopping is enough for me without the actual purchase.
Written by Amy, June 28, 2010
I try to disengage from emotional spending at places/websites like Anthropologie, Lucky Brand, Coach, Dooney/Burke, J. Crew etc. by telling myself that most of these products just aren't worth the prices being charged. And let's face it: they're not. The prices are beyond outrageous - they're obscene -- and shoppers fall for them. The quality and workmanship just don't justify the pricetags (some stores are worse than others). Wait for sales, and if you still want the item when it's on sale, buy it. If the item doesn't go on sale or you lose interest, you're ahead of the financial game. But really look at the item you crave at the moment and critically ask yourself: is this thing really worth my hard-earned $$$? Will I get my money's worth -- will I use it, will I wear it, will I care about it a year from now? Chances are, no way!
