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A Shopping Addict Comes Clean
By Amanda Steinberg Friday April 30, 2010
The end of shopping Despite its chic-lit sound, "Spent: Confessions of Shopping Addict," by Avis Cardella, is a fresh and gritty memoir of the financial and emotional devastation that can result from a shopping habit gone amok.
Unlike the fluffy depictions in a certain recent movie we won't name, Cardella's disturbingly detailed recollections of her thousands of purchases—and her painful return to sanity—are shocking, insightful and entertaining.
Buy, buy happiness
Cardella, a fashion writer who now lives in Paris, believes that about 6% of the U.S. population suffers from some form of compulsive shopping disorder.
As she recounts her intoxicated love affair with every brand, stitch and embellishment, many shopaholics will recognize their own destructive urges. She writes:
I used shopping to avoid myself. I used shopping to define myself. And at some point, I realized that I was no longer consuming; I was just being consumed. When I stood in the lingerie department of Barneys, flanked by rows of candy-colored Cosabella thongs and Ripcosa tank tops, and couldn't remember how I got there, I knew I was in trouble.Bottom line
This is a book for every woman—not just overspenders. In our hyper-consumption age most of us grapple with irrational desires to buy things we don't need. Cardella's cautionary tale, officially out May 14, can be ordered by clicking here.
How do you stop the shop? Tell us. And have a great weekend!
Comments
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Written by Nicole, April 30, 2010
I've gotten really good at no longer buying right then and there if I'm the least bit hesitant. If I have to question it and look at the price tag more than once then I leave it behind and tell myself if I'm thinking about it tomorrow then I'll go back and get it and if it's no longer there (or if I just end up never actually going back) then I didn't really want it that badly or it wasn't meant to be. This can be tricky in the cheaper stores though, like Forever 21 and H&M, so I don't look at the tags until I've tried things on, then before I look I say the number I would be willing to pay for it. If it's that price or under then I buy it, if it's over by more than a $1 then it goes back. Those stores are affordable, but not if you're always leaving with 5-10 things!
Written by Lynn, April 30, 2010
I think its important to note that its NOT only women that overspend. Perhaps you should recommend this book for the male population as well. I know many men that cannot stop themselves from buying the latest and greatest technology, clothing, cars, etc. Its not accurate to say this only applies to women.
Written by Cindy @The Glass Chick, April 30, 2010
I walk away. If I really want it, I'll remember it later and know it's something I really wanted. I have also found that I feel good about the purchases I make because I know they aren't impulse buying. The whole process used to hurt but now I feel proud of myself when I walk away!!!
Written by Suellen Roley, April 30, 2010
i don't shop/spend now cos i am unemployed and beyond broke ($60.00 in my checking account is all i have in the world), but I spent myself into bankruptcy in the late 1980's......all stuff I didn't need, all bought to deal with emotional needs.
I got into therapy in 1989-1990, it wasn't cheap but it was cheaper than the continued spending would have been.
If you are writing from a woman's perspective, perhaps you don't have to be accurate in terms of whether men do this or not. I don't like forced gender neutrality when dealing with opinions and experiences. They are all subjective and shouldn't be criticized for not being inclusive of both genders (or whatever)
I got into therapy in 1989-1990, it wasn't cheap but it was cheaper than the continued spending would have been.
If you are writing from a woman's perspective, perhaps you don't have to be accurate in terms of whether men do this or not. I don't like forced gender neutrality when dealing with opinions and experiences. They are all subjective and shouldn't be criticized for not being inclusive of both genders (or whatever)
Written by Rachel, April 30, 2010
My friend made a comment in a book store that really stuck with me. She said her unofficial rule is that if she can't decide, then she leaves it all behind. She was talking about particular kinds of purchase, but I find it works well in most buying situations :D
Written by Lisa Best, April 30, 2010
I do not spend much now either, because of the recession. I never had a problem because my Mom is a shopaholic hoarder. I learned from my Dad (they are divorced) that one should buy nice things to use and appreciate, not to just stuff in the closet after wearing once or twice. And certainly not to show off, because people, here is the truth; NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU HAVE ON! P.S. My Mom has no money or investments, only clothes. I have clothes, investments, savings, fun friends and vacation in Europe and South America. Yes, Father Knows Best.
Written by Alison , April 30, 2010
I just don't go shopping unless I need something. And then go to only one store. No window shopping. No outing with the girls. Just go when I need it. And I have to avoid the random goods aisles in the grocery store. And the pharmacy store. Broke dowon and went shopping this week cause I needed jeans--gained 15lbs, I cannot fit in the old size. Bought 4 pair (one super dark for dress up, one medium dark and two light for day wear). Probably two more than I needed, but at least I didn't buy one in every color.
Written by Michelle, May 01, 2010
I hold onto things as I walk around the shop. If I hold onto it long enough, and it's not something I truly need or was shopping for in the first place, I can usually put it back. Usually it's the act of "having" something that makes me feel good. I like to say "I own this, this is mine" but if I hold it for even about ten minutes, I feel as if it was mine and I can put it back because honestly, I really didn't need it.
Written by Emma, May 02, 2010
If it is in a shop I can easily get back to and not a ridiculously cheap sale that is about to end then I wait until next time I am there if I see something I hadn't planned to buy.
Also a great way to cut short shopping trips, I take my boys with me (1yr & 6yrs) they have a very short fuse for shopping so it is no fun to window shop, just get in, get what I need and get out!!
Also a great way to cut short shopping trips, I take my boys with me (1yr & 6yrs) they have a very short fuse for shopping so it is no fun to window shop, just get in, get what I need and get out!!
Written by Susan, May 03, 2010
I only go shopping now when I need something and that helps a lot. But what I used to do was forgo the handy shopping baskets and carts and carry everything in my arms and hands. The rule was, if I couldn't carry it, I couldn't buy it! (does not apply to grocery shopping - although maybe that would help cut down my food spending!)
Written by Jackie, May 04, 2010
I, like Emma, take my kids shopping with me and that prevents the wandering and impulse buying that happens when I'm out alone. Also, I've noticed that when I buy things online I'm more concious of what I'm spending and tend to just get what I need... as opposed to walking around Target mindlessly throwing things into the cart!
Written by kate, May 04, 2010
My tactic is similar to Emma and Jackie's - except I take my husband. He gets cranky after more than 3 or 4 stores and is good about monitoring those irrational moments (Kate! $80 for a pair of pants when you have like 20?!). This is way better than going with my girlfriends (who encourage too much purchasing) or by myself (using the retail therapy excuse).
