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A Bride Offers Guests Savings
By MP Dunleavey Wednesday June 16, 2010
When we requested money-saving tips for wedding guests, we didn't expect to hear from... a bride! But like many practical women, this reader believes in creative thinking—especially when guests can't afford $150 place settings, and there are more important things the happy couple needs.
For better or worse, thoughts from a bride:
- Details, details. Offer to supply one of the wedding essentials: ceremony arrangements or centerpieces, the wedding cake knife and server, champagne flutes for the toast, etc.
From the bride, "Personally, I'm stressing about how much all the details will cost. I'd be thrilled with one less gift off the 'list' if someone would offer to take care of some of these." - The gift of time. Offer to help out on the wedding day with set-up and clean-up. It's free for you, and a load off the bride and groom and their families, who just want to enjoy the moment.
- Connect the dots. If you have the connections—and the happy couple agrees before you ask—work out a discount for them, on catering, photography, the cake, etc.
- See if a registry gift is available on clearance.
- Pick your own digs; the hotel suggested by the couple is rarely the cheapest.
- Don't attend the shower and the wedding, if you can't swing it.
A wedding is a joyous time, and what every couple wants are happy memories of that day—not for guests to feel financially stressed.
This article was also featured on Shecky's.
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Written by M, June 16, 2010
Another way to save on your wedding is to try to find things used. If you want to save money after your wedding day, try selling your gently used wedding items to brides-to-be! I started my business, Savvy Cinderella, to help brides and newlyweds save money and start their marriages on firm financial ground. Sign-up for a free listing today! www.shopsavvycinderella.com
Written by MJP, June 16, 2010
These are great ideas - every bride and groom could appreciate them. We also shopped garage and yard sales for centerpiece vases/holders and baskets to use for traveling guests goodies. Happy planning!
Written by Melinda Massie, June 16, 2010
Gifting some wedding details is a fantastic tip! I'm an event planner and have often been "gifted" to a bride. The bride always appreciates it because I save her so much time, effort and stress.
Written by C, June 16, 2010
Is this really a cost savings for the guest or for the bride? As a guest should I be expected to pick up the tab for flowers, place settings etc? The invitation to the wedding shouldn't come with any expectations or than a presence. It seems as if a gift is the cost of admission instead of being just that a gift. The way to save a guest is to register for things within a certain price range but items that are still needed or do vacation registry. Most people set limits on the gift amount anyway. Mine is $50 it can come in the form of an item off a registry or a check.
Written by crackerjack426, June 16, 2010
I'm sorry, but guests paying for parts of the wedding to save money on a gift is one of the most tacky suggestions I've ever heard. Guests want to buy a nice gift that will be appreciated for a long time to come as the happy couple begin their married lives together, not contribute to an overblown affair by dropping cash on some floral centerpiece that lasts all of 4 hours and hardly gets noticed. No one says you have to shop on the registry. Get creative and come up with a personal/sentimental gift idea that will probably be appreciated more by the bride than an expensive plate anyway. Make something if you're so inclined, frame their invitation or a nice photo you took at the event, a small gift certificate to a nice restaurant in their neighborhood is always appreciated. C'mon, this bride is way off base - thrilled with one less gift if someone would spring for these expensive party details - comes off as pretty snotty. Misguided advice today Daily Worth.
Written by dctreehugger, June 16, 2010
I think the first step should be taken by brides in the form of rejecting (or partially avoiding) the wedding industrial complex. Don't force your bridesmaids to purchase $400 dresses that they'll only wear once -- instead ask them to wear something that they already own. Don't feel the need to hand out favors, purchase a special cake knife, personalized toasting glasses for champagne, etc etc etc. Is a wedding "shower" that is entirely focused on gift giving really necessary? It's amazing how much people won't notice when you skip items -- I know several people who didn't have a cake and not a single guest noticed. By taking these steps as a bride, guests will not feel pressure to live up to the standards of an exhorbitant event.
Additionally, brides can be sensitive to these needs by putting items on their registry that are at lower price points. However, I strongly disagree with the poster who suggested hand-made items that aren't on a registry and can't be returned anywhere. That just risks your wasting your time and money on something that the happy couple will feel guilty about throwing or giving away.
Additionally, brides can be sensitive to these needs by putting items on their registry that are at lower price points. However, I strongly disagree with the poster who suggested hand-made items that aren't on a registry and can't be returned anywhere. That just risks your wasting your time and money on something that the happy couple will feel guilty about throwing or giving away.
Written by Heather, June 16, 2010
As a former bride (8 years ago), I know that I really APPRECIATED it when people offered something up to me to help us out with the wedding and we didn't expect gifts from anyone, especially those offering services. A friend did our cake as a gift (we asked her to do the cake, she offered it up for free), another friend does calligraphy and did our invitations (we offered to pay, he said no way), another friend does beautiful flower arrangements as a talented hobby and she wouldn't let us pay her either. It's not a cheap way of getting out of a gift, as crackerjack426 said, it's a really thoughtful and useful gift of time and talent that the bride and groom will ALWAYS appreciate and remember. Just wanted to mention that and a special thanks to our talented and thoughtful friends!
Written by betsy, June 16, 2010
Check out an alternative registry. They are wonderful. I wrote about them here: http://moneychangesthings.blog...ut-my.html
some guests, like me, dislike being dictated to, and are happy to do things in a little more offbeat way!
some guests, like me, dislike being dictated to, and are happy to do things in a little more offbeat way!
Written by Katie, June 16, 2010
I think this is an interesting point of view. I don't necessarily agree with guests chipping in on the centerpieces, but I do think that's it a nice gesture to chip in on helping the bride. For example, if she is trying to go the DIY route, and you are a close friend, maybe you offer to come help glue rhinestones onto her invites or tie the tags onto the gifts for the escort cards. It's the effort that you put into helping, not necessarily the price tag, that is going to help. If the couple is doing all they can to "DIY" and keep it simple, offer your time and talents.
As a planner, I have to agree with Melinda that I have been "gifted" as well to couples and not only is it a cost savings to them not to have to pay for our services, but I always try to save them more money than I charge, ensuring an even larger cost savings.
As a planner, I have to agree with Melinda that I have been "gifted" as well to couples and not only is it a cost savings to them not to have to pay for our services, but I always try to save them more money than I charge, ensuring an even larger cost savings.
Written by Jennifer, June 16, 2010
I'm confused about the point of this article. Why does a guest need money-saving tips? They buy two things, presents and hotel rooms. It seems obvious to me, as said above, go creative and compare pricing!
On the other hand, these have all been great suggestions for the bride. I had my cake made by a local woman who does not have a bakery, but has won several state fair contests. My dress was handmade by the highschool's home-ec teacher. The one thing I suggest brides splurge on is the photos - that's the only part that will last (one hopes) forever.
On the other hand, these have all been great suggestions for the bride. I had my cake made by a local woman who does not have a bakery, but has won several state fair contests. My dress was handmade by the highschool's home-ec teacher. The one thing I suggest brides splurge on is the photos - that's the only part that will last (one hopes) forever.
Written by Melanie, June 16, 2010
One of my "bride" friends & her fiance put a card in with the invitation letting people know the name of their travel agent in case you would like to give a cash gift toward their honeymoon. I really liked this idea and it was something they wanted -- they wouldn't have to exchange it if they got too many!
Written by Chantelle, June 16, 2010
I agree that guests should not feel obliged to give a gift, especially if they cannot afford to. I do remember well however the many friends who used their special skills as a gift for my wedding, instead of giving a more conventional gift. One friend of the family embroidered my wedding dress, my aunt decorated the cake, several friends helped decorate the reception hall, put together music and even helped out with the catering. This was NOT tacky and I valued their gift more because it was gifts of time instead of money.
Written by Christa, June 16, 2010
As a bride-to-be, I'm not crazy about asking guests to chip in for the ceremony.
If brides have the luxury of time, use it. For instance, we secured a local parks-owned historic venue (usually less expensive) two years out. We picked the first weekend of the "off season," which meant we got the venue for nearly half the peak season price (which, BTW, is still less than some venues' off-season prices). Our flowers will be gerber daisies, which we'll probably buy from a wholesale club, and we live in a state where it's easy to have non-clergy officiate a ceremony, so one of our friends is doing us the honor. Of course we'll do something special for him to show our appreciation, but it will probably cost us much less than hiring someone. And he seems as excited as we are about the prospect of performing the ceremony. Additionally, several venues we looked at were iPod ready for the DJ -- so you could load up a play list and hire someone you trust with a mic. (probably the route we'll take)
Our female attendants wlll wear black cocktail dresses, which they may have or really could potentially wear again. The men aren't wearting tuxes, but we may end up springing for matching shirts.
Next is dress shopping, and I'm definitely hitting consignment shops and sample sales, and if I find something out of my price range, there's always Craigs List or eBay. I also know of someone who got a screaming deal on wedding bands from a jeweler who was moving locations. (Any tips appreciated!)
Additionally, since we each have lived on our own for some time, we're not going to register or even ask for gifts since between us we have two of everything (we already have two blenders, after all). Rather, we'll provide guests with some suggested charities if they would like to commemorate the day. That doesn't mean we woudln't appreciate gifts or money, just that we don't really need them. What we really need are the friends and family that have supported us throughout our lives and will continue to help us as we begin our lives together. Many details left to figure out, but for us a big flashy wedding is not our style.
From a guest perspective, if you have lead time and have a talent -- use it! I've given recipe files with a few recipes and random kitchen gadgets as an inexpensive gift in the past, and as someone who crochets, I've added homemade potholders into shower or wedding gifts and even made afghans if given enough time.
If brides have the luxury of time, use it. For instance, we secured a local parks-owned historic venue (usually less expensive) two years out. We picked the first weekend of the "off season," which meant we got the venue for nearly half the peak season price (which, BTW, is still less than some venues' off-season prices). Our flowers will be gerber daisies, which we'll probably buy from a wholesale club, and we live in a state where it's easy to have non-clergy officiate a ceremony, so one of our friends is doing us the honor. Of course we'll do something special for him to show our appreciation, but it will probably cost us much less than hiring someone. And he seems as excited as we are about the prospect of performing the ceremony. Additionally, several venues we looked at were iPod ready for the DJ -- so you could load up a play list and hire someone you trust with a mic. (probably the route we'll take)
Our female attendants wlll wear black cocktail dresses, which they may have or really could potentially wear again. The men aren't wearting tuxes, but we may end up springing for matching shirts.
Next is dress shopping, and I'm definitely hitting consignment shops and sample sales, and if I find something out of my price range, there's always Craigs List or eBay. I also know of someone who got a screaming deal on wedding bands from a jeweler who was moving locations. (Any tips appreciated!)
Additionally, since we each have lived on our own for some time, we're not going to register or even ask for gifts since between us we have two of everything (we already have two blenders, after all). Rather, we'll provide guests with some suggested charities if they would like to commemorate the day. That doesn't mean we woudln't appreciate gifts or money, just that we don't really need them. What we really need are the friends and family that have supported us throughout our lives and will continue to help us as we begin our lives together. Many details left to figure out, but for us a big flashy wedding is not our style.
From a guest perspective, if you have lead time and have a talent -- use it! I've given recipe files with a few recipes and random kitchen gadgets as an inexpensive gift in the past, and as someone who crochets, I've added homemade potholders into shower or wedding gifts and even made afghans if given enough time.
Written by Glenna, June 16, 2010
If the couple needs to have their pets taken care of or maybe the houseplants looked after offer to do it for them while they enjoy their honeymoon!
Written by CJ, June 18, 2010
I suggested to my out of town guests that they not give us a physical gift as their travel to attend was present enough.
Written by Renata Sidorenko, June 21, 2010
It's tooo American all together.When we wanted to have a joyful moment without financial stress, we made all the wedding as a picnick - rented a bus and took all the friends to the forest. There we played games, sang songs and ate the food made by both families together. One of the guests was professional photographer, few were musicians - everything was taken care of. To make the joy more pure, we didn't take any alcohol. It happened in Russia, in 1996.
Written by keli, June 21, 2010
We paid for our wedding, and did receive, as a gift from many guests, some portion of the wedding day or honey moon. It was the best- because now I remember ALL of my wedding day as a gift from the ppl who mean the most to me- family and friends! It was NOT tacky at all- as I can still tell you what part of the wedding was gifted,and by whom. It means a lot to me to know that I can remember the moments of my wedding,reception, or honeymoon as a gift to me.
Written by Gretchen, June 26, 2010
Having gotten married one year ago, I have a bit of a caveat on the offering your services. Depending on exactly what services you are offering, if can be very awkward. My husband's friend's wife offered to do my hair as a wedding gift. She hadn't yet even graduated from beauty school and she has a rather punk hairstyle. She's also a bit bossy and not someone who would have created a relaxing atmosphere while getting ready. I fibbed and said that I had already booked someone. If you're going to offer services, that's absolutely wonderful, but (A) make sure you're actually pretty good at what you do and (B) make it easy for the couple to decline. Your friend's wedding cake is not the time to try baking for the first time.
Written by perfectweddingdressfinder, June 29, 2010
I think the "gifting" idea something that will become more and more popular!As a wedding dress alterations specialist, I am finding that some brides are being given wedding gowns by family and friends, at no charge, that are gently used. All they have to do is pay to have it altered and cleaned.
Others are buying pre-owned wedding dresses to save money. I had one bride wash her gown to save cleaning fees. It cleaned up beautifully.
I have seen top designer wedding gowns that sell for thousands brand new, sold used for a few hundred dollars and in great condition.
Others are buying pre-owned wedding dresses to save money. I had one bride wash her gown to save cleaning fees. It cleaned up beautifully.
I have seen top designer wedding gowns that sell for thousands brand new, sold used for a few hundred dollars and in great condition.
Written by belle richardson, July 04, 2010
if you're looking to buy anything from David's Bridal, you can get 5% cash back at http://bit.ly/WeddingDay the site had some more money saving wedding ideas i liked too.
Written by Saving Money Tips, August 09, 2010
Our women workers wlll black cocktail dresses, which may or could be again. Men are not wearting Tux, but could find no precedent for the shirts to match.
