Written by Bianca, June 18, 2010

I've never personally done this but I think the story is great. I think it's really amazing that she was able to get the store discount.

Written by sj, June 18, 2010

Really? Where's the dignity in this? I can understand purchasing an item on impulse and returning it the next day... but begging...?

Written by Susie, June 18, 2010

This seems like a shallow fix. I think the healthier thing would be to get over the shopping addiction and materialism and focus on the real things in life. Isn't there more to life than the cheap thrill of buying stuff, even if you will just return it later? Isn't there a more productive use of time that will be more satisfying (volunteering, learning a new skill, engaging in a hobby, etc.?)

Written by Amanda (DailyWorth Founder), June 18, 2010

@Sj - please read this with a sense of humor - it's meant to be funny. There is no dignity in this! It was meant, in the spirit of Friday, as a funny, self-deprecating post.

Written by Closet of Free Samples, June 18, 2010

I don't know of any business that would just GIVE something away like that. Maybe a goodwill or thrift store sure since they get the items for free. But unless the business has something to gain from giving you something, it's not likely it'll happen.

Written by jasmia, June 18, 2010

If I were unemployed and that desperate I would probably spend my time sending out resumes or looking for paying freelance gigs instead of spending time ogling expensive clothes I can't afford, begging for them and then returning to the store yet again. When I was unemployed the last thing I would do would be to go shopping for expensive clothes when I had real bills to pay.

Written by wee1, June 18, 2010

Wow, people, just because this column is about money do you have to take everything so seriously? When my hubby was underemployed I remember ogling people dining out at outdoor tables, just wishing we could go out to one dinner. Sure it was ridiculous and there were better uses of my time (and plenty of people get by just fine on the amount of money we had at the time, he pointed out), but I craved that one aspect of my old life...

Written by mermaid sue, June 18, 2010

I have no doubt that that has happened. However, on a serious note, as an artist, I am blessed to be in an industry were shopping at the art supply store actually does on some level satisfy that "new stuff" urge. I can get serious satisfaction out of a new Pitt pen or colored pencil @ about $1.50 – AND it's a business expense too!
I know, i know, it's not the same as a new dress or pair of shoes...but for me...it works

Written by sj, June 18, 2010

Ok--fair enough, I can see the humour now. For a second, I was thinking what is going on at DW!!! I take back my comments.

Written by Jennifer, June 18, 2010

As a designer and maker of jewelry (retailer/wholesaler) I find this story made me smile... especially now knowing that it was not intended as "advice" from Daily Worth. I have given items to non-profits (which I believe in) for fundraising friends who will "advertise" for me, and barter for other services... if you can approach an owner/retailer/friend directly with these proposals you may actually get to keep the items... a sales clerk - not likely. Personally... I support towns developing "Free Boxes" in their communities during these hard times... a means of recycling items which would otherwise end up in landfills or donated... "take the equivalent of what you give, give the equivalent of what you take" ethic... or if you have nothing to give then take what you truly need. See: http://www.colorado-for-free.c...eeBox.htm/

Written by Jennifer, June 18, 2010

Here's the link again:
http://www.colorado-for-free.com/FreeThingsToDoColorado/TellurideFreeBox.htm/

Written by AnjCat, June 18, 2010

Yes, the article is harmless, and we ladies know that DW doesnt condone this behavior, but lets look at the REAL ISSUE shall we.... Ladies, do we really need to fake buy stuff then return it to fill some void we have in our lives? That gal's WORTH is far more than the feeling of buying clothes... will ever give us. I think we all need to KNOW that we Ladies do not need material things to make us feel better (about job or lack of job, husband, friends or any other issues we have). Our WORTH should not be tied up in our financial situation (good or bad) because when the finances change, what do we have left?...Ourselves. we are worth a billion bucks.. job or no job. and buying/returning stuff can't teach us that. Learning to be content without it all teachs that. (preaching to myself too) smiles :)

Written by Wendy , June 18, 2010

I think this post is hilarious. Cheers! Lots of ladies out there are underemployed/volunteering/freelancing/sending resumes like crazy/ reading Daily Worth AND oogling a killer wardrobe.

For budget fashionistas who related to this great post, might I recommend http://www.theuniformproject.com/ for creative style inspiration.

Written by Amanda (DailyWorth Founder), June 18, 2010

@sj - Yay! thank you. I was so sad there for a minute, thinking we had another controversy on our hands. I can't handle another one this week. Maybe next week :)

That being said, I am sure we all have our own dark sides when it comes to money - aspects of us that are counterproductive to our financial gain.

Speaking of which - I have to run to Target now to get my kids some bathing suits. Wish me luck! Target always presents me with enormous tests of self-control.

Written by theresa, June 18, 2010

hahahhaaaa...this article is full-on hilarious!!!! i wish there were such shopping policy in indonesia. once bought, you can only return it within limited time and exchange with same value item or pricier...
that system is good for shopping craving...hope it really works for those who need it most ;)
keep up the funny writing, Caitlin!

:)

Written by Sara, June 18, 2010

Hmm..funny story sure, but as someone who realizes that I can't afford to buy things at certain times means I won't even taunt myself. I don't shop online, I don't go into stores to look and I do everything in my power to peer at windows of stores and walk away. I then go home and do creative things to fill that void and sometimes that means peering into my closet and seeing what old things I can turn into new things.

Even if I didn't have a job, I'd spend more time out there focused on the life going on around me rather then gratification of a purchase.

Written by pkc, June 18, 2010

Wow, a second story of less-than-ethical behavior posted here this week. Purchase with the premeditated plan to return. Use someone else's resources (employee, dressing room, receipt paper, computer transaction time, bag and other packaging) to cop a feel. ick.

You can stop all those catalogs from coming to your mailbox. Most cities have churches and other organizations that will give the needy free clothing - those are the appropriate places to ask if you can "have" it.

Written by Hayley, June 18, 2010

A good website is also www.freecycle.com, one person's trash is another's treasure!

Also, I'm guilty of a similiar type of shop and return, with a twist. I'll peruse websites, add things that I'd like to buy to my online shopping cart and then I never 'check out'. It seems like shopping, it's fun to browse, but here's the best part...It's free! (and requires no walk of shame back to the store). Sure I get a reminder e-mail that "i've left items in my cart" at one website or another, occasionally they even show me photos of what those items were.. but those e-mails are easily deleted!

Written by Hayley, June 18, 2010

Sorry, the link is no longer active, I guess some good things do come to an end..

Written by kit, June 18, 2010

Are you serious? You really think this is FUNNY?? At any level??

I work in retail, and to think that it is at all amusing for somebody who is unemployed (or underemployed, whatever), would (a) actually take up somebody's time with this "banter" when there are real customers who need servicing (b) actually take up somebody's time to ring them up when they will not be keeping something (c) actually take up somebody's time to return the items, refund the money, remerchandise the items etc. It is like a giant mockery of those of us who are actually hustling are behinds off to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads.

You know, those of us who are actually responsible, both as citizens, consumers, and fellow human beings. I'm glad we work for free for your amusement. Thank you for the opportunity.

Written by Dot Blevins, June 18, 2010

I've never asked for anything for free at a retail store, but, I will ask to speak to the manager, and I ask if they can let me know when an idem I want goes on it's lowest price sale. I was shopping for a mother of the bride outfit, and the manager at Lords and Taylor called me three days later and told me that the designer of this dress really wanted to get into the mother of the Bride market. So, the end results was that I got the outfit,
dress, bag. and jewelry at what would have been an 80% markdown.
I sent the designer a picture of me in my fabulous outfit, and even now I still get my 80% markdown from that now well known designer.

Written by Mary Alice, June 18, 2010

I think I have a good sense of humor but this story missed the mark...and doesn't bode well on this website...inappropriate story for the second time this week. It is demeaning and self-deprecating. What will she do next...beg for food at the restaurants she can't afford?
Daily Worth: 0 Readers: -2

Written by Betsy, June 18, 2010

I wish I had the nerve to do this!

Seriously, I believe that honesty is the best policy - I really wouldn't do this.

Actually, I did score a discount on movie tickets when I told the clerk I had just been laid off. In this economy, folks do what they can to help.

Written by Kathleen, June 18, 2010

Thrift stores fill that void for me...and i get to keep the goods. I can go into most of them and buy those three pair of DESIGNER jeans for $5 a pair and then get matching blouses and probably some cute earrings and still not spend as much as the author of this article.

Written by Lee Anne McKee, June 18, 2010

I understand that the column was written in humor, and I myself would never even consider walking into a store whose prices are so outrageous, but I do not think there is anything wrong with bartering services. What you might try instead is doing an online search there are many organizations throughout the country whose members work on "barter" basis. A restraunt I used to work at even took the "barter" checks from one of these groups. The people who belong to these organizations barter goods or services for other goods or services. Some of the types of business' that belong to the local organization around here are carpenters, bakeries, crafters, mechanics, taliors, restraunts, florists, etc. Getting that shopping urge but broke? Try finding out about a barter agency in your area and see what they have to offer.

Written by suellen roley, June 18, 2010

hey kit, try NOT working anywhere for the better part of 5 years and then come here with your IMO very condescending post.

try busting your ass---excuse me behind.......for the last 3 months, sending over 60 resumes/applications, getting less than 10 interviews, and still not having a job at the end of the day. Try all this with 2 college degrees too and 20 years experience

Try selling most of what you own or have inherited to keep a roof over your head and pay your other bills.

When you've done all this I don't think you'll be coming here mocking the unemployed and how they get through their day any longer

Written by Kathleen, June 18, 2010

I also wanted to add that I sometimes take photos from fashion mags or catalogs with me to thrift stores and most of the time, I can copy a look for a ridiculously low fraction of any given piece in the photo.

To keep the karmaq going, I also donate clothes to the thrift stores and pick up the nifty tax deduction for a really handy long term savings.

Written by Jmo, June 18, 2010

Are you tongue in cheek here, serious or both? This kind of behavior is what makes women seem like they can't handle their own lives, let alone be financially savvy mentors and leaders of their own lives. I don't want to be harsh to you as a person, but I have to admit reading this and feeling very annoyed. I have worked retail and would have blown you off, but to think that you as a writer on an site I subscribe to as "self-help" would not apply the footnote: THIS IS NOT RECOMMENDED NOR ENDORSED BY ANYONE is disappointing. I am a LONG way from financial perfection, but I must say this seems like a slam to those of us really serious and trying diligently to move away from the "NO MONEY, but NO DEBT" phase of our lives.
Good luck with your future $ choices.

Written by Lea, June 18, 2010

Sometimes ignorance is BLISS....Enjoy this lovely day!

Written by Wendy, June 18, 2010

@Kathleen, bringing magazine photos to the thrift store is a great idea! Will-do on my next trip. Also, @Kit, I see your frustration at the possibility of having to deal with people buying only to return, point taken. But I don't think this was written to glamorize that behavior... rather to get a smile out of anyone trying to cope during tough times.

Written by Barbara, June 18, 2010

Hayley -- the url is http://www.freecycle.org/

Also, I'm not feeling the funny on this one, either. I work in retail, like kit, who commented above.

I do think, though, that I would've found it amusing had she actually gotten a manager to approve a "giveaway" price/barter of some sort.

Written by Jmo, June 18, 2010

I should have added to my prior post comment, that I find your story inappropriate to this site, BUT that I find your writing style conversational and funny. I think my former post was a reaction and not a response. I am sorry for stating things in a way that didn't separate my feelings from my reaction, and for being remiss in letting you know that you have a talent for drawing the reader in with your writing style.

Written by kit, June 18, 2010

Hey Suellen, how on earth do you think I have a job? By spending all day ringing up people and then returning them 20 minutes later? That's a big fat zero at the end of the day, and if I have to spend all my time doing something that ends up making my employer zero, then guess what, I get zero too eventually.

Whatonearth makes you think I am mocking the unemployed? The OP is mocking me and my way of living. Here I am trying to make it just like you, and my only chance to actually pay taxes and help others who are unemployed is being sabotaged by "hahahaha I need a stress relief so let's waste somebody else's time and resources". Or maybe it's just a big pity party at my expense. I don't really care, I just don't have much left in me anymore to think that this is HUMOR.

Best of luck to you in your search, and everyone else like you. I hope things get better soon.

Written by Leigh, June 18, 2010

This is really timely, my sister and I were just talking about a similar situation the other day. We both will go shopping (not splurging) and end up later feeling guilty about the whole thing and returning our merchandise. But then we feel as though the money we get back is almost free money since we "spent" it anyway. I really enjoyed this article and am glad I could relate. I have also worked in retail for 10+ years and still found this article amusing. Thanks!

Written by Robin, June 18, 2010

Please, please, take a moment to consider, before you post, that essentially we are all in this together. Kit has a valid point - such antics are taking up someone's time. Many salesfolk are on commission, many shops are small mom & pops, others will pass along costs to us in the end, and it's not really fair to advocate doing this. Others seem angry that Kit is making a point from an employed person's point of view, thinking that negates their own unemployed experience. I didn't read it that way.

The bottom line - at least it's what I take as the bottom line - is that we've all got ways to cope with the difficulties and strains of not being able to obtain what we want. The bartering idea is a terrific one. People voluntarily participate, and as a part of the process, no-one is taken advantage of. Everyone wins.

Humor is personal. I get that this piece is meant to be funny. But maybe "something for nothing" is just a little bit of a sore subject right now on DW. Those who advocate finding another outlet for material cravings are right on. How about more ideas on how to do this? Find the exact item for 1/4 the price on ebay, maybe? Or refocus away from material and take care of issues of self-worth by meeting up with friends? Other ideas? Let's support each other - and be courteous even when we disagree.

Written by SaraLee, June 18, 2010

Bartering sure beats shoplifting. ;)

Written by Boukje, June 18, 2010

@suellen roley: I think your website http://www.i-dont-think-so.com/ is what keeps you unemployed. It's a HUGE red flag to any employer out there. You call yourself assertive, but you appear extremely negative, sarcastic and pessimistic to me.

@kit: I learned from Amanda's comment that this column was written in humour, I didn't pick up on that myself. Let's hope it doesn't encourage readers to waste the time of retail personnel.

Written by Janelle, June 18, 2010

The author has obviously never worked in retail. I agree with kit above. It's a giant waste of someone's time and a mockery of the salesperson to deliberately buy something and to immediately take back. Changing your mind because you found something better two stores down or buying it now so you can try it on at home because you are strapped for time are totally different from buying just to return it so that you can get a thrill. I work two jobs, one of them in retail. Although I don't work on commission, we do have individual and store sales goals. People who engage in this behavior can really affect a salespersons' job. Not only can they make a salesperson look bad performance wise, but if the overall sales of the stores go down, the company can choose to cut payroll hours, leading to job loss and under-employment.

What it really comes down to is that you should still respect other people, even if you need to get a thrill. I think the author should find healthier ways to indulge her need to buy.

Written by Daisy A., June 18, 2010

Now, did she really need the shirt or just wanted the shirt. The clerk would not be authorized to just give away the merchandise. She would have to check with someone in the higher positions, manager and up.

Written by Sarah, June 18, 2010

After I read this blog post, my reaction was: embarrassment. I would never do that! But after reading all these comments and learning from DW Founder that this is meant to be humorous, I accept it for a story. But, I agree with all the people who say that hopefully this column does not encourage other people to beg for things they don't need and can't afford.

@suellen: yikes. Someone pointed out your blog, and they're right. Just scrolling through it is unpleasant, filled with negativity. You should really consider either blogging under a pseudonym so that prospective employers do not see that as their first impression of you, or make your blog private.

Written by Sonja, June 18, 2010

I was not happy reading this article.
It made me feel terrible for retailers!
I am all about bargaining in the store, asking for the best deal possible, but pretending to buy items just to take them back??

The last article I read here was about telling 'white lies' in your interview about your salary...

Both articles promoted lying.
I mean, batting your eyelashes to get what you want for free?? Sounds like swindling, not bargaining.

Written by Amy, June 18, 2010

I also missed the funny in this post. If this woman were a friend of mine (and I'd like to think she would be) I'd be worried about her! This behavior seems at best self-centered and a giant waste of other people's time and resources; at worst genuinely compulsive. An odd choice for Daily Worth...

Written by Tiffany, June 18, 2010

Wow! LOL I remember for my birthday last year, I went to the mall and a few other places. I was laid off at the time, and couldn't afford to spoil myself for my birthday. So I utilized a few resources. I called my cell phone carrier, told them it was my birthday and asked for a discount. They slashed $20 off of my bill! Then I went to the diner where I'm a regular. I told the boss it was my birthday, and he told the cashier to give me anything I wanted! I also went to the Godiva Chocolate store where I'm a preferred customer, and got my free candy of the month, went to get my eyebrows done, told them it was my birthday, and walked away with some beauty goodies. Then, I went to the perfume counter at Nordstrom, asked if they had any samples, and the saleswoman put a few perfumes and lotions in a little bag for me. It was a great day, and yes, I felt very spoiled. :-) You have not because you ask not. LOL Cute blog Lady!

Written by Lucky Eliza, June 18, 2010

Being an entrepreneur myself, I have the perpetual guilt that any money made should be invested in the business- or at least paying off debt! I related instantly to the part about magazines piling up with stuff that you can't, or shouldn't buy.

When I am really in the dumps and need a "material" pick me up, I allot myself $20 to spend on something purely for myself. Then it's a game to see what I can get for $20. I once got a pair of 9 West shoes at DSW for a penny after searching the clearance and using my birthday coupon! It sustains the fun longer if you absolutely have to bargain shop- plus you don't have to purge afterwards ;)

Written by MP Dunleavey, June 18, 2010

@ Tiffany--love you. Thank you. C'mon, people. It's FRIDAY. And I don't know about everyone else, but here at DW it was a bumpy week. Let's. Just. Relax. I do the shopping bulimia thing alllllll the time. Esp. when I'm online. Click! Yes. Click! Yes. It's called retail therapy. Poor Miss Jobless was just driven to an extreme.

Written by Carol, June 18, 2010

Gotta agree with most of you ladies. I fail to see the real VALUE in today's post - comedic or otherwise. Um, can you imagine a man trying this practice when he's laid off? I don't think so. It's frivolous, at best. How about a funny column where readers post their can't believe it, ideas to save money in these times? I just quit having my trash picked up and began going to the dump. I stressed for a while about this "slip in status." Lo and behold I ran into lots of folks I know at the dump, and then I'm "shopping" in the free building, and actually picked up a few books! gotta laugh. And be smart at the same time :-)

Written by Amy, June 18, 2010

Regardless of what day it is, when I head off to my retail job, I will be glad that I'm working at a gallery with one policy written in stone: all sales final.

Written by Kate, June 18, 2010

I think it (the article) was lighthearted and funny. No, I wouldn't want to do that to a retailer or their employees, but heck, I can see the the endorphins being released by just asking someone if you can have something......how freeing. Even if you don't get it, and you probably won't, the idea is so freeing, living on the possibility of "just in case".....far better than what I did many years ago when I had four small children, a full grocery cart, in full knowledge that I was floating a check until pay day. When I got up to the register with all this stuff that I needed, (with my squirmy kids) and after a long day, tired and hungry....found that I didn't have my check book on me and had to go home to get it. I didn't go back. I just couldn't. It just overwhelmed me that I was in a horrible space financially and emotionally. I made scrambled eggs, got the kids to bed, and thought "wow, that was JUST as good as shopping, but without overdrawing my account even more." Bad? Yes, probably. But boy I needed that at the time.

Written by Sandy, June 18, 2010

Wow, this has been a really bad week for the DailyWorth. If you aren't careful many people will see this site as worthless.

Written by Tracy, June 18, 2010

I am jealous of even the full carts in Walmart, as a single mom of 7, I just want a cart of tp, fhp, new undies and socks.
My faux shopping is to take the Current catalog, Favorites, etc, fill out everything I want, and put it in my stack o'papers for a while, until the urge passes. I love to go to Buy.com and fill a virtual cart of bargains, perfect gifts, then log off.
Recently friends have fulfilled my shopping urge by gifting me several items, I have new to me things at no cost.
The urge to shop and have some new things to wear, use, and enjoy is very strong in me, thanks for acknowledging we all want some things sometimes!

Written by Cate, June 18, 2010

@ Tiffany--I love your comment! "You have not because you ask not." So true! That's my favorite thing about this column: I'm learning that assertiveness is the only way to get what I want.

I totally felt the need for retail therapy when I was unemployed, and I wish I'd returned a lot of the stuff I bought, but I was too ashamed to admit that I couldn't afford it. I wound up spending hundreds on credit cards on stuff I really didn't need.

One thing I did find to help my materialism was trading handmade items. I craft a lot and make a lot more stuff than I know what to do with, so I got together with other online crafters and started bartering. Lots of fun new stuff arrived in the mail daily, and all it cost me was a little bit of postage. I also took full advantage of samples. I'd head to the fancy grocery stores nearby or to the mall and load up on yummy gourmet bites, tiny jars of expensive lotions, sips of expensive specialty teas, anything I could find. I've kept some of those habits now that I'm employed, and it helps me save money.

Written by Lulievision, June 18, 2010

I worked vending booths at raves a while back, and the cutie chickie-pies would come by and beg like that for blinkies and faux fur clothes. It didn't work of course, there were no smitten males in the booth to work their magic on, so it was kinda weird to try it on this matron.
I was left pitying them. As they continue use this as a tactic through their20's, they will hit a big fat wall of NO when their youth fades. I hope they gain better transaction skills while nature sucks their beauty and charm away over time...

Written by Lisa, June 18, 2010

@Janelle--ditto! As another woman who has worked in retail for several years, I didn't find this humorous.

An another note, I think "shopping bulimia" is a bad habit to fall into, especially since many small retailers only offer store credit in lieu of a refund. Personally I get almost as good a rush (almost!) just trying things on. If I decide I can afford it, I'll go back the next day :)

Written by Riin, June 18, 2010

You know, you can get really nice clothes at thrift stores, usually from $2-5 each. That's where I get all my clothes. I can't see the point of even going into stores that sell $70 shirts.

Written by Carolyn, June 18, 2010

I love the DailyWorth and find it really informative. I thought this story was hilarious. I bat my eyelashes when I am being silly, and most people, no - all people, catch on.

What I do think, though, is that shopping has become the sole outside-of-work activity of many people. We can eat, get spa treatments, take our kids for Halloween and even, in some cases, stay overnight in the mall. Score one for the retail industry and zero for us. We need to try to find other activities - there are SO many - that don't part us from our limited resources and that nurture us. Go outside: take up running, walking, soccer, find people to meet at the park. Even in New York there are people playing every kind of sport in the tiniest of parks - we just have to find them. In DC we have pick up volleyball on free courts next to the Potomac. Buy ice cream and take a walk. Nothing to return, and hopefully, less muffin top for the next time you need pants for an interview.

Written by Carolyn, June 18, 2010

And girls, one more thing: being silly is one of the traits of being resilient. And if you are unemployed, resiliency is necessary. Caitlin was being silly. Suggest other ways she can be silly so we can all laugh.

Written by Thelma, June 18, 2010

I can not believe you were inside my head when the mail arrived! I get it! I used to look at the clothing mag when they came in the mail and feel bad because my business is not as good as it used to be, so I have to cut back. But now I look at the fashion and say to myself, as soon as my ship comes in....ohhhh baby, I am going to get 2 of those or one in every color. Then I throw the catalog in the trash (no harm done) and I try to figure how to get back in the game.

Written by marianne, June 18, 2010

my girlfriend and i host a clothes swap twice a year and invite all our girlfriends and their friends. we potluck food and wine and throw all our unwanted clothes, purses, accessories, jewelry, books, etc. into piles and it's a free for all. i always wind up with really great stuff! i know they're not new, but THAT'S how to get free clothes! ;)

Written by Heather MBC, June 18, 2010

I think your story was hilarious. You never know unless you ask! Unlikely as it may seem to recieve something retail for free-it's funny to ask-I wish I'd been along with for the humbling ride! Asking can get you $$ off- at almost any store and that's FUN! Lighten up people- be a little crazy and have some harmless fun!
Heather MBC

Written by Diana, June 18, 2010

I'm sorry, this was a hilarious piece! I almost lost it while I was on the phone with a client and I was laughing out loud as soon as the call ended. Can't say I've ever done it, I try to stay away from shopping establishments altogether, too painful. I also don't have the luxury of time to be able to indulge in this type of retail therapy. I do have a friend that pretend internet shops. He'll go to like, the Hermes site, for example, and fill up his cart with like $10,000 worth of merchandise. And not check out.

Written by Diana, June 18, 2010

I was just reading through a few of these comments. People...lighten up. Relax.

Written by Rachael, June 18, 2010

I fully understand the humor. But one of the ways I am trying to lessen my desire for materialism is to stop buying THINGS. However, because of my job - I have to have a nice (NOT super over priced) wardrobe...so I have 2 great suits and 3 pencil skirts and some pretty tops. I like simple jewelry and a few great shoes. I often have the desire to give away certain items just to minimize and simplify. I am now not buying many items as I plan to use up what I have thus far. I accept gifts and my biggest spend is on food and books (for my job, spirituality and leisure) and for my business. I think that now is a great time to just cut back. Not that it hurts, but to teach myself something. I throw away and cancel catalogs and I hide my shopping bookmarks, take advantage of sales and coupons and rebates. Sigh. Less is more in my book now.

Written by Lauren, June 18, 2010

I am known to my husband as the queen of window shopping... I honestly don't need to buy anything, but I need to go look.

However, I have never bartered in the store... not like this, anyways. I have worked in retail and I know what they are able to offer based on their position. There is almost always a staff discount, there's sometimes a "mall employee" discount (and they rarely track if you're an actual employee) and sometimes you can get something extra out of the manager.

So... I play all my cards. I'll wander in, look at an item, turn it over to find a price, look slightly disappointed, put it back and continue wandering around the store. After I've made it through the whole store, I come back to that item I wanted and look at the price again. Then I find the nearest (preferably male) sales associate - "Excuse me, do you give discounts to mall employees?"

Then it's all in being creative. A little flirting can sometimes get the employee discount. Sometimes if you take up enough of their time and really fight with yourself because it's above your budget but you really want it they'll bring over the manager and throw in some extras...

Your goals have to be realistic, but you can usually get something. After all, usually the stuff they're selling costs you triple what it costs them.

Written by Lauren, June 18, 2010

Oh! And I've gotten a couple free shirts before. Sometimes they make clothes just for a display - not meant to be sold, just advertising - and I honestly loved the simple red on white "sale" t-shirts that a clothing store near me had on their manequins. So I went and asked the manager if she could give me a call when she took them down - and she offered me all of them. They were going in the garbage anyways.

And bartering works better online... if you like sites like etsy, you can get all sorts of stuff. "I really like that sweater... care for some homemade soap?"

Written by Malissa, June 18, 2010

@Laren Barter is a violation of Etsy Terms of Service.

Written by Elea Carey, June 18, 2010

I don't shop -- I... POLYVORE!

Written by Reanna, June 19, 2010

First of all, to the people who took this all serious and got butthurt about it: get over yourselves, it was a joke. The article was funny and yes it was in bad taste, but who cares. Don't jump down DW's throat over it.

Second of all, just as a general response to this: I work retail and we get in trouble (people get fired) for doing too many returns. If you do this, just keep in mind that you might actually be ruining someone else's day.

Written by Joyce Marie, June 19, 2010

This site is turning into a DAILY NOT WORTH IT!! Your subjects are getting worse and worse......ok, you say it's a joke. Ha-ha, I've got better reading to do!

This is just a re-hash of a few weeks ago suggesting that everyone ask for a DISCOUNT everywhere, where you received 95% negative comments on.

Do we really want to be reading about women who have nothing better to do that buy and return? Please, wasn't this a professional site?

Written by Trudy, June 19, 2010

It looks like this rediculous story got everybody to see what is important and what they really value! Sort of like shock therapy!

Written by Amanda Steinberg (DailyWorth Founder), June 19, 2010

OK, so some of you didn't get that this was intended as funny. Another lesson learned by DailyWorth this week - be careful about funny! Next week, we promise nothing controversial or funny. (Okay maybe a little funny.)

In all seriousness, for those of you who say this doesn't apply to you, please note that according to researchers (read in NY Times today), nearly one in 20 Americans has a compulsive shopping disorder. Compulsive - meaning harmful. That's enough of a population to warrant us bringing attention to it, by way of humor or other means. DailyWorth is about more than just advice. We're about sharing personal stories and bringing consciousness to issues that really don't get much coverage elsewhere for the sake of constructive, open dialog. Never did we think that some readers would read this as "DailyWorth is suggesting that I beg." So, there's some context. For those of you who were offended and took it as mockery of retail or being unemployed, we apologize.

See you on Monday with a really thoughtful article about the mathematics of budgeting.

Written by Stephanie, June 19, 2010

I was also severely unemployed for much of the last year. And yeah, it's easy to get sucked into "poor me" mode. But there's something really empowering about living within your means - even when those means are pretty tight quarters.

This writer sounds like she has a psychological problem. Her use of the term bulimia really fits the bill. This is an addiction to shopping. Purging will help fix the bottom line, but her attitude towards shopping and materialism haven't changed. She's likely to get caught in the same rut next time a rough financial situation comes along.

How about these ideas: Have a yard sale and allot the profits towards something you want. Swap clothes with friends. Take your $9.95 a nice thrift store and score something worth much more. Take that time you spend shopping and volunteer to help people in a worse situation than you are in. Spend the afternoon in a public library and broaden your mind.

While none of these things are bad in their own right, a woman's addiction to fashion, shopping, or the "I deserve this" mentality undermine her self-confidence and financial strength.

Written by Pavla, June 19, 2010

Amanda Steinberg, I am behind you totally. Please do not change for the sake of few people who take things far too seriously. How could one take it as a suggestion is a mystery to me, it is far too outrageous... more like an experiment how far one can go. It is ok to disagree with the article but threatening/insulting the website is 'not funny'! I'd rather have controversial and/or funny than dry anytime! Cheers and all the best xxx

Written by Mary Alice, June 19, 2010

So now Amanda Steinberg is going to punish us for taking offense about an inappropriate article. Come on Amanda, take responsibility for the fact that the piece was insulting, degrading and self deprecating and of no value to helping women reach their goals. I really don't think it brought to attention the issue of compulsive shopping, as you imply. If that were the purpose, it is even more inappropriate to make a mockery out of a very serious psychological illness. As a PhD Psychologist, I am aware of the impact of this disorder and have no interest in laughing at someone's illness any more than I would laugh at an alcoholic who begged for alcohol on the street or drank aftershave in desperation. I came onto this website through Little Pink Book, which focuses on empowering women. I guess I had the wrong idea about the mission of Daily Worth.

Written by Amy, June 19, 2010

Was this funny? I've never known it to be a funny kinda blog, my initial reaction was, "well this was just dumb." Sorry.

Written by Flowersbyfarha, June 20, 2010

I have to agree that this is not funny as I believe too much of what passes as humour in our culture is simply camouflaged anger and hurtfulness. In this case, it does appear that once again in a short time Daily Worth is endorsing, not just condoning, ethically questionable behavior and in this case encouraging behavior that damages retailers. Not all retailers are large enough to absorb these kinds of loses. What loss is there you think? Staff time which could have been spent with a legitimate customer or doing other necessary work. The merchant fees for processing a credit card (which are not entirely refunded upon a return). Loss of a potential legitimate sale while the item is out of the store. Loss of a fully sellable item.

How does this article empower women? It merely enables dysfunctional and unethically behavior that damages others.

Sure, it sparks comments, but hardly fruitful discussion. Online "discussion" rarely sways anyone in a format where comments tend to be 'hit and run' and few even bother to read the comments which come before theirs.

When I signed up for Daily Worth, I expected something more helpful than snippets of someone else's blog which inform me little or are mere come-ons for someone's services. Don't just dump some allegedly "funny" blog with an endorsement that this is the way we can empower ourselves. Exercise some critical thinking and offer concrete suggestions of how to either implement a strategy--or alternatives to an strategy that may be unethical or illegal.

The trend I'm seeing with Daily Worth is that it is becoming Daily Worthless to me.

Written by Diana, June 20, 2010

Amanda, cheers, and keep up the good work. I have definitely been learning nice little financial tid-bits from your blog, and it's nice to have a humorous, yet constructive, interjection thrown into the mix. I totally agree with Pavla. And as for all the negative, threatening killjoys out there, GEEZ, GET OVER YOURSELVES PEOPLE! It's only a story. Go somewhere else if you don't like it and make more constructive use of your time.

Written by May, June 20, 2010

Hey, I'm going to bring this back away from a slugfest and onto something I think is interesting.

I've never been faux shopping as outlined in the article myself. I'd feel too guilty that I was inconveniencing hardworking people! Especially that last clerk who did their best to get her a discount!

I read Jennifer's reply to the issue and I agree with it. I'm a student currently selling journals that I make myself at the local markets in my area and I think what she said is true about getting stuff for free. I'm not super loaded or anything but sometimes the cutest kids will come and oogle my stuff and though I can't always give them something big, I always try to give them a sticker or bookmark or something and it makes them really surprised and happy. Even with adults, if they tell me they really like something but can't afford it, I'll always try to work something out with them. I've never really thought anything along the lines of 'you have an addiction, don't buy stuff you can't afford', rather, I tend to automatically empathize with them because everyone has had that moment of wanting to buy something a little out of their reach. Think of how happy you would be if you got it!

Big businesses are too disconnected from their clients. They hire secretaries, shop clerks and build voice machines so that you voice your needs to the people who are responsible. So definitely try your local markets. Most people are friendly and open to negotiation. And it's not always about getting a discount or something for free, but building a friendly relationship with someone allows you to empathize with their situation. You might find that you end up refusing a discount or that your need for something is superfluous - a valuable spiritual and financial lesson indeed.

I also think free boxes is a great idea! Sure it's important to work hard for the things you want, but this world wouldn't be worth living in if no one experiences a bit of kindness.

Written by Jean, June 20, 2010

I love shopping and I love having "stuff". And I have kind of faux shopped, bringing home more than I knew I was going to keep but I have not gone out purposely to do so. I was shopping for an occasion and saw other things that attracted me so it was like flirting with a guy - no commitment required. And I did return almost all the items.

One reason not to do this is because I have been on the other side of the counter and on commission too! It was a real bummer to plan how I was going to spend (or save) that money only to have it disappear when all the clothes came back and I had to check them all for spots, restock, etc.

Finally, here we are with the lying conversation again and enough has been said on that already but I'm going to add my two cents anyway. Self worth is to me the first step towards having my worth recognized by others. For me personal ethics enters into this and lying doesn't make me feel better about myself, quite the opposite in fact. So here is what I do to feed my material girl when I am broke or close to it:
Visit the finest stores, but as museums. Visit museums too (no you can't buy the Cezanne or the Chanel!). Get visually full up. Then if I haven't inspired myself enough to go home and "shop my closet" I go to thrift or resale shops until find that one thrilling piece that will transform my attitude and my wardrobe and costs next to nothing, $10.00 or less is my criteria. I feel triumphant and virtuous all at the same time. With my self worth elevated and my creative juices flowing it's much easier to confront whatever I need to do to get my finances back in order. Honestly, this strategy has helped when even chocolate failed me.

Written by Renata Sidorenko, June 21, 2010

Please, dearest Daily Worth, this is not the material I would like to read ever! We supposed to share positive ways to make all our lives better, with self-esteem growing as well!!!!

Written by Renata Sidorenko, June 21, 2010

I am not from America and sometimes it's really difficult for me to understand what is the discussion all about. Shopping or even false-shopping seems to be the only remedy while ANY crisis. What about the out-of-fashion methods such as good book (taken from the library) or good old movie with mug of hot chocolate. Or self-made SPA for the most beloved myself. I know even better things but little shy to offer - what if it's not in fashion any more - to create something by own hands. When you are not employed, it's time to explore your gifts and talents and - who knows- may be to build a platform for a new hand-made business.
By the way, I was sick with flu for 4 days and spent a lot of time with Calvin and Hobbes. No regrets.

Written by Melanie, June 21, 2010

I appreciate humorous pieces- but maybe you should include a special title for posts that are meant in a humorous nature - so that we know the intent before we start reading and any controversy can be avoided :)

Written by Amanda Steinberg (DailyWorth Founder), June 21, 2010

Thanks everyone for your input. We're taking it all in.

Written by Sunny, June 21, 2010

Maybe I shouldn't admit it after all these comments, but I do have the bad habit of buying things, feeling remorseful over spending the money (& sometimes just realizing that what I bought was a bad fit), and then returning the stuff. Yes, I have too much stuff already, and not a big enough retirement account, but shopping is one enjoyable way to escape the day to day. Note: everything I buy is already on sale, and I've never asked for anything gratis!

Written by Amanda Steinberg (DailyWorth Founder), June 21, 2010

Sunny, if you're feeling shameful about any aspect of your finances based on above comments, then we're not doing our job at DailyWorth. We all have issues and engage in less-than constructive behavior, especially when it comes to money. The most important thing you can do is recognize it, with compassion, and see if there aren't ways to improve by saving more and spending less. Even if you paid full price, that would still be ok. :)

Written by Mary Ellen, June 21, 2010

I've never done it in a store, but I often go to an online fabric store, fill up my shopping cart and end up emptying it out before I hit that final checkout button.

Written by laughingmouse, June 21, 2010

My trick on this, is to go "shopping" with artificial money on my facebook games. Some days the redecoration of a virtual restaurant is enough to calm the beast. ;)

Written by Sherry, June 22, 2010

This reminds me of my great-grandfather from Holland. He never could accept the concept that retail prices were "fixed" in American stores. Whenever he shopped he would try to barter for everything and get at least 20% off. (He hated to pay retail.) I have dozens of funny family stories that usually end with frustrated merchants kicking him out of grocery stores and department stores. Surprisingly, some merchants would relent and give me a discount on items. :-)

Written by Denise, June 22, 2010

I am astonished by some of the responses posted! I thought the whole point of this site was to share our experiences and give HELPFUL insights. How is that going to happen when a person gets bashed for honestly sharing a downfall? I personally found this article very funny! Not because of her actions or how she fulfills her shopping urges, but because we ALL have ways that we use to trick ourselves into thinking we've gotten what we wanted when we know we can't actually have it. Whether it be shopping or dieting or whatever. The success of this site is due to people being willing to share the good bad and ugly. It takes a lot of courage to be honest with ones self about money, much less total strangers. Why does every story have to be so literal or serious?

I like to go shopping for hours at WalMart or Target. I'll spend an astronomical amount of time contemplating my purchases and putting things in my basket. The entire time I'm talking myself out of actually buying ANYTHING much less everything in my basket. Then I turn around and return most things to their shelves and actually feel good about myself because I used such self control! A waste of time? Yes probably, but it was time where I could just relax and dream for a while. Has everyone forgotten how great it is to dream and the endless possiblilities that come from dreaming?

Written by Jenny, June 22, 2010

I certainly have done the shopping bulimia. Not necessarily knowing I will return, but knowing that I had an option to return if I chose not to keep it. Sometimes I buy things hoping it will work out for the house, yet when I bring it home it doesnt look right or I feel guilty with the purchases and bring it back. That is why there is a return policy.
I havent begged for something free, but maybe for a discount. Hey why not ask.
I think the article is funny and gives the site something different compared to the usual.

Written by Jenny, June 22, 2010

Plus in the end I end up saving my money! Which is the point of this site. However you achieve it. Not everyone is the same.

Written by Terrakian Dragon, June 22, 2010

Hmmm, it seems that the current economic toilet-swirl of down-the-drain has leeched folks of their sense of humour. Sad to see, but understandable. Maybe I'm odd, but I read this article as totally meant in humour and didn't believe for one second that the author actually DID this!

Certainly, too much of North American humour is "point-and-laugh" or cheap shots at people and their follies, but this one, while slightly in that category, at least was pointing fun at herself! It can be really hard to laugh at ourselves, when we think about it, and we can be truly hard on ourselves more than necessary.

For example, I'm a klutz, I miss little details, make social stumbles that make me cringe to recall them, and make stupid little mistakes that painfully embarrass me... until I make a joke of them. To me, that's what this lady was doing in her article.

That folks didn't see this and ripped the poor woman a new one is baffling and sad. Lighten up, you guys!

But, on the plus side, folks posted their good ideas for saving money (I really like one person's idea of taking along pictures from fashion mags to create similar looks from thrift-store stuff)- those I appreciate, and would like to see more of.

Here: I'll even add one of my own: I Dumpster-Dive. No shame in it, either. People waste an incredible amount of good, useful and rather nice stuff, and being very much into the whole Green thing, I prevent much useful material from ending up in a landfill. They've tossed it because it's out of fashion (how silly!), they received something newer or they're moving and can't take it with them. Then I come along. :) I grew up in the kind of poverty that could make the more sensitive folks cry- I went hungry much of my childhood. So I learned to be resourceful, and that included catching the great things people would throw out on the weekends or at the end of the month (usually the best times for a good scavenge).

To give you an example of the kinds of things I can find on a routine run:

Yesterday: a large, hand-built, wooden shelf in excellent condition. It's now in my living-room.

A week ago: some contractors working on a house renovation threw out (yes, actually tossed in the trash) sections and tiles of travertine marble and other stone. I scavved as much as I could carry, and it's now the shelving for my plants on the patio of my apartment. It will be saved for a more permanent application in the garden when my hubby and I get a house.

A fer days before that: a lovely wrought-iron floor lamp and a newer fan which will definitely come in useful in the hotter weather to come.

A few weeks back: a brand-new merry widow-style corset that had never been worn. I had to modify it in order to make it my size (it was too small), but now it looks brilliant. Now, it's part of my Steampunk and Goth wardrobe.

I have found computers, clothing, furniture, house-plants, jewelry (including gold), fabrics, even a djembe (it's an African drum. I had to pay out to get it re-skinned, but now I have a three-hundred dollar drum at a fraction of the price. I'm a percussionist as a hobby. I have more leather than I know what to do with that I've skinned off of couches that otherwise would have been hauled away.

People don't believe me that I can get cool stuff for essentially free (plus a little elbow-grease to clean some things up or repair them so they can be useful again), until I take them on a walk with me. My husband is learning my thrifty habits (he has many of his own that I'm learning from him- for a guy who grew up in Santa Monica, he sure acts like he grew up in the Dustbowl). In short, Dumpster-Diving can be potentially lucrative for the imaginative and forward-thinking mind.

Yard-sales are another source of cool, inexpensive stuff that I can cannibalize for my projects.

I'm a crafter, too- I make all kinds of crazy things. Rarely are they "useful" in the sense of being practical, but they're a much-needed dose of silly and fun, and I not only enjoy making them, but it's great to see the happy comments from customers on my Etsy shop's comments page. And yes, many of my items that I sell in my shop are up-cycled from things I've found in my Diving- I tell my customers where my materials come from, too.

My "ethical-bone" is far too strong for me to try anything like the "advice" in this column, and I'd never endorse lying of any kind. I didn't think this site would advocate lying, either, so I read this article as satirical humour, instead.

Our minds are our most powerful tools- let's use them for something other than picking on the intent of this woman's article, ok?

Cheers!

Written by Akimas, June 29, 2010

I have somewhat done this. I went on a spree with a friend who had me buying things that I didn't really like. I took them back the next day and went to a different store and bought two outfits for what I spent on one at the mall. Mall 0. Me 2. :D

Written by Chandra, July 06, 2010

I haven't done this, but having been out of work for two years now. Yes, *sigh* two full years. I can totally appreciate it. It's frustrating to be so damn broke and shopping and somehow thinking you are the only person in the world who can't afford some new clothes. I know it's not reality, but retailers have been making shopping tempting, and it's SO frustrating to not be able to take advantage because you literally have nothing to your name....

One day, one day soon I hope ;)