The Value of Being You
DailyWorth recently had the pleasure and privilege of interviewing Gretchen Rubin, author of "The Happiness Project" the same week that her book hit The New York Times best-seller list.
Gretchen Rubin's new book, "The Happiness Project," chronicles the year she devoted to following the precepts revealed by the last two thousand years (or so) of happiness research and philosophy.
Naturally, here at DW HQ, we wanted to know about the financial side: How can one spend more on a happier way of life?
Rubin described a common pattern that can drain your wallet and derail your happiness: "When people wish they were different from who they really are," Rubin says, "they end up spending a lot of money on fantasies—and don't end up happier."
For example: "You wish you were sporty—but you're not," Rubin says. "So you go out and buy the yoga mat, the workout gear, the roller blades—because you have this fantasy that buying the stuff will make you athletic--and it all ends up in your closet."
It's a waste of money on two fronts, Rubin notes:
- A) You frequently end up in possession of a lot of junk (language tapes, cookware, books about Goya); and
- B) you could have invested that cash in your own true life.
Rubin's motto, "Be Financially True to Thyself", struck a deep chord here at DW. Now confess: Have you spent money in hot pursuit of someone you wanted to be, but really aren't?
Amanda's Money Coma, Part II of III
Before I describe our scramble to resolve the issues, I need to address some questions that surfaced after last week's post:
- We do have an emergency fund. Many of you were aghast that I, founder of a website about personal finance, do not have a savings account. We do. We just hate to tap into it. We think of it truly as money for an emergency. Our recent bad planning doesn't really count as such.
- I am not perfect. I founded DailyWorth not because I'm a certified financial expert, but because I wanted to learn about the dynamics of wealth building. I do publish articles I know a lot about, like earning. Everything else is written by our team of experts -- MP Dunleavey, Galia Gichon, Cristina Adams, Manisha Thakor, Kathy Ivens, Claire Poole, Mikelann Valterra, Mary Reed, Gerri Detweiler and many others writing for DailyWorth.
Now, back to those bills ...
Recap
Somewhere around October 30th, I opened 4 bills to the tune of:
- $4,860 bill from my accountant
- $2,500 unpaid transfer tax notice on an apartment we sold two years ago
- $625 bill related to a surgery my husband had a year ago
- $3,000 for new windows to replace our leaky, crumbling, century-old windows
Amanda's Money Coma, Part I of II
As the founder of DailyWorth, I have a responsibility to be on top of my financial game. Like many entrepreneurs, I'm obsessive about managing my business accounts--and occasionally that comes at the expense of my personal finances.
As some of you know, I started DailyWorth because, despite having earned more than six figures for many years, by the age of 32, I had practically zero net worth.
In the past year, I've made enormous strides. I've doubled my income, cut my spending, and my husband and I are saving a bundle. This year has been a financial breath of fresh air.
In October, a swarm of bills descended. My husband was out raking leaves. Standing in the kitchen, my 10-month-old daughter in the Bjorn, I opened one piece of bad news after another:
- It started with the $5,000 bill from my accountant -- triple the normal amount because of a snafu last year.
- Next was the $3,000 bill to replace our decrepit 100-year-old windows: we knew the bill was coming, but why now?
- Then came the $2,500 notice about some “transfer tax” on on the apartment we sold in Manhattan 2 years ago (oops?).
What's a DailyWorth founder to do? Sell stuff on eBay? Take on a second job? Call in an adviser?
No. I took the high road. I buried my head in the sand. I shut down. Paralyzed. That was 2 weeks ago.
Then Amber, my assistant, woke me up yesterday with this instant message:
Do you know you have negative money available in your personal checking account? You're about to overdraw by $1,047.50. You have an $87.96 account balance. I'm moving $2,000 from your savings account into your checking so the checks don't bounce.Wow. Nothing like an empty checking account to snap me out of my money coma. Panic struck. What if Forbes finds out? Or, God forbid, DailyWorth subscribers?!
So, dear readers, I'm coming clean. My husband and I have to come up with about $11,000 that we don't have in cash.
Next Wednesday I'll be back to share our plan with you.
From Scarcity to Infinity
Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into. ~ Wayne Dyer
Abundance is a state of heart and mind. When we can't perceive life as being good or even fantastic, we repel money, love, beauty, friendship and everything else we think we really want. Some of us feel more at home in chaos, so we invent problems and collect evidence to support what's wrong in our lives. No, we can't ignore reality altogether. Living abundantly merely means being able to accept our blessings without unconsciously sabotaging them. If you live in a constant state of sabotage, deal with it now. Your life is worth it.
Abundance starts with our willingness to see what’s real and wonderful now.
We have the capacity to shift our perceptions from scarcity to infinity. When we ignore the presence of family, friends, employment, money, food, water and health, we negate the basic expression of abundance in our lives. There is always something to appreciate. Instead of looking for what you think you want out of life, notice how you are looking at life. Then, consider what you can give to, not take from, this world.Approval, appreciation and acceptance will lead us to a peaceful state of mind.
The more you approve of who you are, the more you'll feel invigorated, the more you’ll move with the current of life instead of against it. That's how you know you're on the right track. It takes practice, so be patient -- you may be undoing years of negative thinking. Take it one day at a time. Let me know how it goes, and how your bank account responds to your altered states of abundance.
I am ready to step into boundless worth as a human being.
Women and Money: A Narrative
Christine Merser blogs at FreesiaLane.com
Do I really need to have this conversation with all women?
I left for LA and a female co-worker offered to watch my fabulous dog Luke.
“Oh, no need to pay me," my co-worker said. "I am happy to move out of my house, move into your house and take care of your dog for three weeks until you get back--for no money. By the way, I could wash your windows while you’re gone if you want? Or perhaps pack up everything you need to take with you on the move? No worries, happy to do it.”Ok, it wasn’t quite that bad, but almost.
So, I yelled at her, of course, and gave her a check for what I would have paid a professional dog sitter, and shook my head at the absurdity of it all.
Then I negotiated my new apartment here in LA.
“What’s the price?”»Then there was the fabulous negotiation for my car.
“It’s X.”
“Ok, I’ll take it.”
“I’m told I should negotiate. Is this the best you can do? ... Oh, it is the best you can do? No problem, thanks so much, I’ll take it, but could you give me a full tank of gas?”
I’m pathetic, and while I have a few girlfriends (rich ones) who are amazing at negotiating, I can tell you that most women are not.
I rented a house in the Hamptons for the last three years. When I saw the house, it belonged to a young woman whose father was a business friend of mine. She was asking way less than market value, so I said,
“This isn’t enough. I’ll pay you $500 more per month than you are asking because that’s what’s fair.”
“No, that’s ok,” she said. “Your fee will cover the mortgage.”
“No, no, really,” I countered.
We settled on $250 more. Who says I can’t negotiate?
Even in business, I am terrible. The president of a company I work with actually said, “Never negotiate on behalf of my company again.” He was not joking.
“Alrighty then,” I replied. “But I have other qualities, right?”
God forbid I just let it go without looking for some validation of something.
Look at Annie Leibowitz, the most renowned photographer of my generation; She's bankrupt and needing to sell her work to pay bills because she just didn’t get the money thing. She’s not alone, and I hate that it appears to me to be a gender thing. Ok, you can add Michael Jackson in, but let’s face it, he was more girl than boy anyway.
They should teach a class in it. Teaching Women to Value Their Time and Talent with Compensation. It could be taught by Anna Wintour. I bet she’s a good negotiator.
Here is the course description:
Find out why women suck at negotiating. Look into the deeper meaning of demanding financial compensation commensurate with work expertise and why women tend to reject validation through the almighty dollar. Help yourself find your way.I would take the class in a heartbeat. And, I would pay full price for it, or better yet, I’ll pay extra.
It's Affirmation Time
Affirmation:
I always have everything I need. There is more than enough of everything for everyone at all times.
***
Do you know that your financial status has nothing to do with money or your career? You will shift your capacity to acquire wealth by shifting your beliefs about youself and life itself. Your assets will transform as you begin to recognize and release withheld beliefs about your self, family, friends, strangers, money, addictions, shopping, greed, poverty, stealing, giving, sex, love, anger, pain, sadness, beauty, weight, control, safety and the other invented measures of your magnificence.
Don't Worry, Seek Imbalance
According to Marcus Buckingham, a former Gallup researcher and bestselling author, women today are more unhappy than they were 40 years ago. In his latest book, Find Your Strongest Life: What the Happiest and Most Successful Women Do Differently, Buckingham asserts that we were happier back when we had fewer career opportunities, got paid less, had fewer choices and weren’t a political force to be reckoned with. And he has survey results to back it up. Every year since 1972, the United States General Social Survey has polled men and women about their happiness, and every year women have reported being less happy. Buckingham advises us to forget about finding balance. “You study the happiest and most successful women, and they deliberately pick out the moments in life that invigorate them and then tilt, target, imbalance their lives toward those moments,” he says. Imbalance as the path to happiness?
DailyWorth's Cristina Adams isn't very happy. As part of her therapeutic process, she's asking why: Not So Happy.
Moms: Looking for another good read? What Happy Working Mothers Know by Cathy Greenberg, Ph.D. and Barrett Avigdor J.D.
Not So Happy
Big pause. Me? Happy? I had to admit that I wasn’t — am not — a generally satisfied, over-the-moon kind of person. I can’t speak for other women, but upon reflection I’ve decided that my underlying discontent is due, in part, to the fact that my mother never had a career or a paying job. Don’t get me wrong, I admire and adore my mother tremendously. She was — and continues to be — a fantastic mom, a well-educated and well-read woman, and a tireless volunteer in public schools. But she grew up in an era where most women didn’t have children, careers AND personal interests. Let's be honest, most women didn't have careers back in the 1950s and 1960s, and my mom was no exception. As a result, she's never had an accomplishment to call her own (unless you count my brother and me). To her credit, she didn’t expect me to be like her; not once did she imply that I should get married, have kids or be taken care of. Neither did she suggest that I map out professional goals for myself or discover my life's passion.
Let me be clear: I certainly don’t discount any woman who chooses to stay home and raise a family. For many women, that is their passion, and I applaud them for it. As much as I love my husband and children, however, I want to be more than just everybody’s something — wife, mom, employee, chauffeur. Someday, I want to point to an achievement, say, “Look at what I did,” and be proud. Did I mention that my happy friend’s mom was a pioneer in broadcast television and worked with John Cameron Swayze at NBC in the 1950s, and went to law school at the age of 46 after raising three kids?
The good news is that, after years of swimming in the dark, of wandering through various careers, I’m almost there, ever closer to that all-too-elusive happiness I’ve been chasing. Still, I can’t help but wonder if I’d had a role model to emulate, if I’d been pushed a little harder, if I'd been guided by a more self-confident hand, whether or not I might have had the confidence to get there sooner.
The Princess Problem
Concerned about your daughter's obsession with princesses? You should be, but not for the reasons you may think. Laura Vanderkam's recent op-ed in USA Today titled “The Princess Problem” suggests that your girl's fondness for princesses is more damaging to her self worth than her self image.
Some moms worry that princesses make girls obsessed with beauty. But I think the problem is that the popular princesses lack what psychologists call an "internal locus of control." This is the belief that you are responsible for making your way in the world.Vanderkam suggests that this lack of "internal locus of control" is holding girls back. She notes, according to Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever's 2003 book Women Don't Ask, "young men are four times more likely to negotiate their first salary than young women, resulting in $500,000 more in earnings by age 60." Ouch.
We're not slamming princess dresses — they're super cute and our daughters love them. Just make sure that earning the "keys to the Queendom" is part of her storyline. She'll thank you later. Read Laura's editorial on USAToday.com.
Thanks Manisha Thakor, Harvard MBA and co-author of "On My Own Two Feet," for turning us on to this article via her Money Musings blog.
Can you spare a dime, sister? Depends…
My annual tuition was larger than my mom's annual salary. As a result, I was a prime candidate for grants, low-interest government loans, and work-study assignments. Those sources of money covered my classes, books, and housing. Then I just had to worry about feeding myself. I signed up for psychology experiments being done by grad students at my university — a few of those in an afternoon, and I was able to get food for the week.
With very little disposable income, I was always on the hunt for a bargain. By my sophomore year, I figured out how to get by on about $50 a week. Food trucks and thrift shops were my saving graces, literally.
Today, even though I am in a very good financial position, that miser of my younger self can still be found in my day-to-day activities. I've put myself on a strict savings plan, socking away 20% of my take-home pay in cash in my savings account (editor's note: GO Christa! Remind us to ask you how you do this for a future post on DailyWorth ... ). I refuse to pay a broker's fee for an apartment. I review my credit card statement with a fine-toothed comb every month. I have yet to ever buy anything without looking at the price tag, from a restaurant meal to an item of clothing to a roll of paper towels. I can save $0.25 if I buy this brand of laundry detergent instead of that one? Of course I want to save that quarter!
I comparison-shop to the point that I can't subject another human being to shopping with me; my endless bargain hunting is enough to drive anyone insane. (Well, except my sister, Weez. One of our Sunday morning bonding activities when we lived together was to eat cinnamon rolls, that of course we bought on sales and in bulk, while clipping coupons.) Just today, I stopped in to CVS to pick up milk - $1.69 for a quart. In my old, soon-to-be-new again neighborhood bodega, that same quart of milk is $0.79. I actually thought about taking the subway up there to save $0.90. I didn't, but I thought about it.
This is what happens to kids who grow up poor and then work like heck to become adults who have more financial stability. We can take the poor kid out of the poor neighborhood, but that poor kid is going to think like a poor kid, no matter where she lives. During one particularly bad week during my childhood, my sister and I subsisted on saltine crackers and peanut butter every day. To this day I keep those two items in my cupboard in constant supply. Just in case.
What's ironic is that my inner miser never rears her head in certain situations. I take my family and friends out for dinner. I tip generously. I love giving gifts. I've yet to go by a lemonade stand and not drop bills in the basket when a cup only costs about a dime. I contribute generously to charities that I believe do important work. And I love gadgets. I agonize over buying them, but once I take the plunge I will thoroughly enjoy tinkering with them.
When push comes to shove, I am ALWAYS worried about money and always will be. Worried I'll never have enough, that I'll end up on the street, worried that I will lose a job to never find another one again, worried that the poor little girl I was is the poor little girl I will always be. And there's a little embarrassment that always follows me around because when you grow up poor, it's not that you don't just have enough money. There's also this nagging inside you, a tiny little voice that says maybe you're not quite enough, period. In the end, the psychology of money isn't about money at all — it's about whether or not our opinions and hopes and dreams matter, are they even worth having, if we don't have the money to bring them to life.
I try very hard to put away these worries. Over the years I've found a way to stuff those concerns into a drawer, though I will tell you that it is a struggle for me to keep that drawer shut. At any moment, it's on the brink of bursting, which I guess is why my inner-miser is here to stay. And so my daily (personal) worth is intrinsically tied to my daily ability to manage these fears and concerns while also managing all the other aspects of my life. It's a heavy load, and so far I haven't found any way to put this legacy to rest.
There's Plenty of Money
"There's plenty of money in this world, and if I focus on what I need, I know I can access it."
~ Dana Bass Solomon, CEO of Hollyhock
Meet Dana Bass Solomon, a seasoned businesswoman who has turned a thriving multimillion dollar business into an engine for social good. Dana is CEO of Hollyhock, Canada's leading educational retreat center nestled between the forest and ocean on the southeastern tip of Cortes Island, British Columbia. DailyWorth sat down with Dana to get her thoughts on business, social enterprise and motherhood.
How do you define Hollyhock's success?
Hollyhock is a social enterprise, so we're not your typical bottom-line focused business. Social enterprises have both financial and social goals. Hollyhock runs about 100 educational programs a year, serving about 3,000 guests. Our financial statements do not tell our complete story. On an annual budget of $3,000,000, we are break-even. All money that is earned by Hollyhock is invested into staff wages, programs, our community and generating a lighter footprint.
What advice do you have for businesswomen on the rise?
In the 1980s, before coming to Hollyhock, I was a single mother of four kids. And I needed to make a living. So I started an architectural stained-glass company. Here's how I managed to run a company, and be a mom:
- I made sleep a priority.
- I made a date once a month with one of my children. This guaranteed I'd give each of them undivided attention. We'd always go out to dinner, and then do something cultural. They're some of our most treasured memories. By dedicating this time, I was able to focus more during the day on growing my business.
- I consciously developed an abundant mindset by reminding myself regularly that there's plenty of money in this world, and I focus on what I need, I know I can access it.
Learn more about Dana's social enterprise, the Hollyhock retreat center.
Feel Better About Money
Money can be such a downer. Here's some reading to help you feel better.Bored? Putting the Fun Back in Money by Galia Gichon
Ever notice how it seems like everyone else is going on an amazing vacation? And when you sit down at the end of the month and are trying to find those extra dollars for the vacation, you just can't seem to stretch that dollar enough. One of the keys to making it happen is putting the fun back in your money. How? Follow these easy steps. read more
Ashamed? Shame On You by Dr. David Steinberg
Very few emotions are as destructive to the self as shame. When children are raised by authority figures that use shame as a method of teaching or control, children do not necessarily learn the right way to do things, they learn the right way to hide what they truly feel, think and do in order to avoid directly experiencing the shame being projected onto them. Eventually, if you were raised with shaming parents growing up, you will learn to internalize the shame that they experience, and it becomes a veil not just between you and the outside world, but also between you and your inner self. read more {disclosure: David is married to DW founder Amanda Steinberg}
Sad? A little thing called happiness by David Ronick
When you start a new business, you are making a serious commitment. You'll be living, breathing, thinking and talking about it ad nauseum for years to come. So, be sure it's a fit with what makes you happy. Speaking of which, ever stop to think about what truly makes you happy? One person who has done a lot of thinking about happiness is Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of Flow. His last name may be rumplestilskinesque, but his ideas are clear as a bell. read more "
Dealing with Doubts
Today's guest blog post was provided by transition coach and writer Deborah A. Bailey (www.dbaileycoach.com).
So what happens when you have doubts about your business dream? You can see it...most of the time. Other times it seems much too difficult or too far away from your current reality to ever manifest. Perhaps people have told you that you're crazy, or that you aren't the type of person to take such risks.
You're juggling a day job with your business and feeling overwhelmed by both. At times like that you can wonder why you thought you could bring your dream into reality. What were you thinking? To be honest, if a lot of entrepreneurs knew what they were getting into, they might have run away screaming instead of starting a business. The thing is, dreams don't go away that easily. You may try to dismiss them, but they're always in the back of your mind.
Stop. Apologizing.
Anyone notice lately how good women are at apologizing when they need to — and when they don't? Sometimes it seems like a constant stream of “I'm sorry” is flowing out of our mouths. We're sorry when we win, when we lose, when we promote ourselves and our business, when we get ahead or fall behind, when we outdo our friends or colleagues, when we miss the tennis ball and lose the match. What is up with that? It's okay to be good at what you do, to beat the competition, win praise (and a raise) or promote your abilities. It doesn't make you a braggart — it makes you a confident, ambitious, well-adjusted woman. Stop apologizing already!
Social media strategist Jessica Smith offers up an engaging and worthwhile call to women entrepreneurs to stop apologizing for wanting success. We think it applies to all women. Read her piece here.
Women Grow Business
This morning, we're proud to occupy the feature space on WomenGrowBusiness.com. You've likely seen the DailyWorth post before -- it's a cross-post of our "Sell your ASSets" article -- but the blog itself is worth checking out. It covers the big picture experience of women in small business, entrepreneurship, and more.
Hone Your Inner Capitalist
Board games aren't just for kids. They're for capitalists, too. If you think you're lacking a healthy dose of aggression, perhaps a timid approach to sales, or simply mystified by your inability to earn money you want, consider learning a board game called Settlers of Catan. Here's how it works:
{think Monopoly, just more cerebral}
* The "board" is an island and your goal is to colonize it
* Colonies consist of roads, houses and cities
* Take turns rolling the dice
* Collect resources
* Use resources to build and earn points
* Negotiate with competitors to get resources you need to build
* Sit back and collect (colonies generate more resources)
* Build more
* Haggle and razz your competitors
* Earn 10 points to win the game
Learn more about Settlers of Catan:
Read the Wikipedia Entry | Read Wired Mag's Review | Buy It
***
Double Duh
On Wednesday, we omitted our source. On Thursday, our "omission" note contained a non-working link. Who knew our errors could result in such publicity for Jan? Presenting to you, the one and only, ScoutieGirl.com — Jan's amazing blog for the passionately handmade. If for some reason our link fails again, please Google "ScoutieGirl."***
Good Question
Yesterday, Laura Brown asked a great question on our blog:i think the vocab is totally helpful, although when i read the ones related to investments, i still am not sure how to take that information and make it work for me. do i call my 401k person? who is that? do i have to get an investor person? how do i know who to trust? these are my questions ...
Good question. I am going to ask DailyWorth contributer and esteemed finance advisor Galia Gichon of Down-to-Earth Finance (website) (blog). Galia, let's connect offline, k? We'll get back to you next week, Laura.
A Worthy Artist
Oh, the voices in my head! Make them stop! "I'm not qualified." "That's a silly idea." "Life is hard enough." "Maybe I don't have what it takes."
In these financially turbulent times, it's a good idea to surround ourselves with positive, uplifting words to drown out our inner nag. Meet artist Valentina Ramos.
After 15 years working as a graphic designer, Valentina Ramos started to create other arts and crafts. From these creations, Valentina Design was born: her world of fantasies and dreams; where her uplifting drawings and designs took shape.
In her Miami studio, this Venezuelan artist spent countless happy hours playing with her paints and her Rapidograph Pens. She enjoys working with different materials, but black ink is one of the mediums you will always find in her original prints, paintings and drawings. Her love for artworks with little intricate details are a signature of her own drawing style.
The best part? Her prints are only $15. I'll take 2, thanks.
Spare Some Change
Relationships, jobs, bank accounts — things change as we evolve. It's always been like that, but we still have a hard time adapting. Why? Because most of us prefer the comfort zone of predictability to the great unknown. That's why we stay in jobs that don't make us happy, continue in careers that aren't fulfilling or put up with a boss (or a boyfriend) who's a jerk — because we're afraid that something different could be even worse. Sure, change is hard. But harder than stagnation?If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. ~ Thomas Edison
Dealing with Change by Don Ardell, Ph.D.
I had breakfast this morning at a Yuppie-style café with lots of cute quotations framed along the walls. One that caught my attention offered these sentiments: "The only thing more overrated than natural childbirth is the joy of owning your own business."
Continue reading on SeekWellness.com
Questions for Gabrielle Bernstein, Founder of HerFuture
Gabrielle was just one year out of college, when she co-founded the Women's Entrepreneurial Network, a non-profit professional organization that connects female entrepreneurs. Her lecture, Falling in Love with Your Future is regularly presented at the Learning Annex, Femalethink, The Give and Take Network, New York University, Fashion Institute of Technology, Columbia College, Baruch College, Georgetown University and other venues. Visit HerFuture.com to learn more about Gabrielle. q: What can women do to boost their self-worth?
a: The most significant thing a woman can do to boost her self-worth is be conscious of her thoughts. Her thoughts inform everything around her. If she believes in herself, the world will too. Our most important job on this planet is to proactively clean up our thoughts.
q: What does money mean to you?
a: Money is the outward result of an inward belief. When you believe deeply in your personal and professional value, then you can expect abundance. When your work is aligned with positive intentions, you can be confident that you're totally hooked up.
q: You employ a team of dedicated women. What advice do you have for fellow entrepreneurs looking to do the same?
a: Make sure that the people you work with share your vision. Their intentions must align with yours. The power of a collective conscience of women in alignment with one another is immeasurable.
If you are in start-up phase, be sure to get innovative when hiring. There are many unique ways to work with people. You can barter services, offer commissions or a combo deal. If people believe in what you are doing, they are going to want to show up for the party.
Honor the women who work for you! I have a sisterly bond with all of the women on my team and hope to stand next to them for many years to come. Their dedication to this mission is invaluable.
q: Finish this sentence: Every day, it's important that I ...
a: Everyday it's non-negotiable that I pray, meditate, work out, help someone, stay positive and love myself.
q: What are your three favorite books or websites?
a: My three favorite books are A Course in Miracles, A Woman's Worth by Marianne Williamson, and Living in the Light by Shakti Gawain
q: What are your favorite websites?
a:www.herfuture.com and not because I founded the website. Herfuture is one of my favorite healing tools. If I ever feel low in energy, I log on to the site and immediately feel lifted. I also love www.vitaljuicedaily.com and www.crazysexylife.com.
Comments
We're experimenting with a new way of doing commenting (since the old way wasn't working all that well). For now, conversation and comments on DailyWorth have been moved to Twitter using #DailyWorth. Not on Twitter? Sorry. We're considering more universal means for conversation.First Step in Money Success: Realization
Last night was the second week of SIMPLY MONEY for the summer. In just one week, this group of women achieved money success. While it might seem hard to believe, it isn't. The one theme that came from the evening was REALIZATION.
The homework from the week before was to do their "30 Second Financial Check-Up." This is a relatively simple, but POWERFUL, exercise. It did take some women hours to do but the idea is that once you do it, you can keep doing this check-up every month and it will only take you 30 seconds.
While we were going around the room sharing our money progress, I kept hearing:
"I didn't realize I had that much invested"
"I didn't realize how little I knew about my expenses or my income"
"I didn't realize how long it would take me just to find these 4 numbers"
"I didn't realize I earned that much last year"
I keep coming back to the point that it doesn't matter who manages your money, your partner, your spouse, your trusted money manager. It is your money - no matter what. So realize what you have.... It is a great place to start!
Get Out of Your Way
Are you your own worst enemy? Join the crowd. Most of us are guilty of self-sabotage. Why? Well, pundits, psychologists and trend-spotters have blathered endlessly about the whys and hows. But T.T. Mitchell in his article, Sabotage: What Holds Us Back, offers up a handful of pretty simple, sensible reasons:
- We’re not as driven as we could be. If you really want to succeed, you have to work really, really hard.
- We lack focus. Our increasingly complicated lives are getting in the way of our focus.
- We want to be safe. An entrepreneurial spirit takes the “sure thing” with the “what if?” And let’s face it, we may say that we want change, adventure and independence, but it’s predictability and stability that lull us to sleep at night. Then again, job security is pretty much a fairly-tale concept these days.
- We feel undeserving of success. Financial or personal. This is one for therapists to unravel.
- Set sensible goals. Don’t set the bar so high that you’re likely to fail and bury yourself in shame. Overnight success is about as rare as the lottery.
- Remind yourself that you're worthy of success. Constantly. Hourly.
- Think big and stay positive even when you feel like throwing your laptop out the window.
- Do something every day to stay motivated. Find a friend with similar dreams and talk to her every day, if only for 10 minutes every morning.
Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself. ~ Robert Collier
Meet Lisa Kelley of Milkshake Crafts by Amanda Steinberg
Weeks ago, I was voyeuristically tracking conversations about #DailyWorth on Twitter, only to discover that one of the conversationalists, Lisa Kelley, happened to be an artist living 10 miles from me, in the same neighborhood as my oldest sister. After some celebratory back and forth, she invited me to come check out her homemade crafts at an art fair near our homes outside of Philly. Turns out my sister was singing in a chorus at this very same arts festival. Not to mention the moonbounce, funnel cake and other draws for young children (of which I have 2) ...
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That's me on the left, my 5-month-old daughter, Maya, in the middle, and Lisa on the right. Lisa's handmade crafts include zen-like sayings scripted on deliciously colored wall art, and other homey items like wall clocks and coat hooks. Lisa combines her love of color, texture and pattern with her graphic design background to create unique home accessories. She also offers an array of cards and jewelry. I bought these 3 want-to-eat-them wall squares for $20 each:  Check out Lisa's store: MilkshakeCrafts.com |
Cut the Drama
Oh, money. The agony! The tragedy! The hysteria!
This week, be drama-free about your money. Pay your bills on time. Breathe. Collect money owed to you. Smile. Learn how to use Morningstar.com. Breathe, again.
"The mind can be used and can be put aside. It is an instrument, a very beautiful instrument; no need to be so obsessed with it." ~ Osho
Brilliant, Gorgeous, Talented and Fabulous
After a week of discussing karma, budgets, bonds and IRAs, we thought you'd appreciate this pick-me-up. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of [the Divine].
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of [the Divine] within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
~ Marianne Williamson