Yes, you can create prenuptial agreements for a set period of time and you can also revise them over time; however, things will always change. That is guaranteed. What you draft up in a prenup now, you may not agree with later. In fact, what protected you now, may actually hurt you later. People change, situations change, and feelings change. And if you are even considering having children — be prepared for your priorities to go topsy-turvy a few years down the road. Who wants to be stuck in a bunch of rules that were created at one point in time?
It's likely no surprise that prenups are an expense running in the hundreds to thousands of dollars. While cost should never be the only consideration when making a decision, these are extra funds that can be applied to your new life together... or one hell of a honeymoon.
In any decision-making process, I am always an advocate of choosing love over fear. In this case, love for a meaningful relationship that you have faith in, trumps the fear of losing your belongings. If you want my honest opinion, do all the prenup planning as if you were pursuing one, but skip the formality. If you and your future hubby are not in agreement on anything, work at it until you find common ground. When you have talked through everything (assets/ debts, financial plans, children — both existing and upcoming, estate plans, methods for settling disagreements, etc.) and feel completely comfortable, start planning that wedding. Not only will this build a solid foundation for the new phase of your relationship, but it will give you both extra incentive to truly give each other everything — physically and emotionally.
I was in this same position years ago and I fully intended on getting a prenuptial agreement because I was the breadwinner in the relationship and I just thought it was the smart thing to do. Lucky for me, I allowed the formal prenup to fall through the cracks in the craziness of the wedding planning. Years later, I am grateful that we never went through with it. I don't believe I would feel as committed to my husband or my marriage if I had a legal document defining our boundaries and terms. We are a team — a team that will stand the test of time. I have no reason to believe otherwise.
After mulling this over, you may find yourself completely confident in your ability to move forward without a prenup... or second-guessing your ability to take the leap of faith without the legality. If it is the latter, I invite you to reach out to me for a FREE private session to set you on the fast-track to a loving, trustworthy, faithful relationship.
This story was provided by our content partner, YourTango, a digital media company dedicated to love and relationships. No matter what love stage our users are in — single, taken, engaged, married, starting over, or complicated — we help them live their best love lives. Written by Crystal Kulpcavage.