The Joy of Financial Foreplay Comments

  • January 18, 2014

We are consumers — always have been. Maybe you hate that idea because you feel it reduces you to little more than a target demographic. I get it. Call it what you want: We are still basically hunter-gatherers, looking for things to hunt and gather. Our culture plays no small role in encouraging that ancient itch — and yes, it helps that more goods are available more widely and cheaply than ever before. But it also plays on our basic nature: that we like to seek and to find.

Now, you and I fortunately don’t have to face down our dinner or hope the birds haven’t cleaned out the blackberry bush. But our ancestors’ skills and intuition, honed out of a battle to survive, have evolved to make us really freaking good at spotting ripe heirloom tomatoes at a farm stand or a sample sale from the street. It is what it is.

We’re Bad at Multitasking, Great at Stalking
Study after study shows that, particularly in light of our modern-day deluge of distraction and information, we’re really crappy multitaskers. But a singular focus on a thing we want? We’re made for it. In the age of distraction, giving yourself the luxury of that focus is also a relief: It’s hard to worry about this or that other thing when you’re hot on the trail of waterproof boots in the midst of a winter sale.

My mother will make you crazy with this. She does her homework. She studies. You don’t need to check her work: You’ve got to go with the Breville juicer. The Air-O-Swiss humidifier. This particular line of boil-in-the-bag rice — because she’s tried them all. Granted, she’s in her sixties and doesn’t work full time. But this isn’t about having oodles of time or money. This is about value. It's about enjoying the journey, not just the destination. My mom knows the secret to loving what you have, and now you do, too. 

In an age of rush and convenience, slowing down around purchases by tapping into your natural foraging abilities is worth it. At the very least, you’ll become more mindful of how you spend your money — and augment the pleasure you derive from your possessions because you’ve invested in the decision. You might even delay the purchase altogether. As far as I’m concerned, a deferred expense is money saved.

With shopping, as with sex, the anticipation is everything. By the time you finally close the deal, you haven’t just bought a thing. You’ve earned it. 

Terri Trespicio is VP of Talent & Business Development for 2 Market Media and a lifestyle expert. She is the author of Full Disclosure, the bi-weekly column for DailyWorth. Visit her at or on Twitter @TerriT.

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