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woman overexplaining

Plenty has been written about how horrid women are when it comes negotiating and why. But there is one part of the explanation that is often missing: women over-explain

You want a raise? Good for you for asking, but you also explained that in addition to your stellar accomplishments that made the company a ton of money, you need a bigger salary because of the rising cost of living and your new baby and your mother’s health issues. None of that is relevant. So don’t share it.

Or, you mustered the guts to tell a potential client your new, higher fee, which now places you in the premium category of your industry. In addition to quoting the number you also explained away why you charge that figure and all the goals and changes in our business that require your fee, essentially undermining yourself and those very goals. 

Women come to me all the time seeking advice on negotiating in business. And I find, more often than not, that they have taken a baby step in correcting the bad-negotiating plight by asking for what they want and deserve — but then lack of confidence pipes up, waves its freak flag and sabotages their efforts in a bout of blabbering explanation. 

How to avoid that mistake? 

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