Inside the “Stiletto Network”

Author Pamela Ryckman on the growing power of female connections

  • By Sandy M. Fernández
  • May 21, 2013


You also say these women “chose passion over balance.” What do you mean?

For me, it means that when you're immersed in something truly meaningful, the other trappings (whatever they may be) just fall away. When you find things you're passionate about, they bleed into every area of life. When I started researching and doing interviews for this book, it didn't feel like work. I was talking to interesting, inspiring women about their lives, and this was something I really enjoyed. So the concept of "balance" in the traditional sense never applied. Because I was having fun, it wasn't a stretch to take a call at 9 p.m. or read another four articles on the topic once my kids went to bed. No one was making me do it; I wanted to. It wasn't like the book was invading my personal life. The book became part of my personal life. And it changed my life for the better. There was never any doubt. It was something I had to do.

It sounds effortless. Is that realistic?

Well, that said, I don’t pretend in any way to "have it all," or whatever you want to call it. I pared back everything else in my life to make this work, and for the past two years I've done almost nothing outside writing this book and taking care of my family. I haven't seen a movie in years, and I had to all but give up my other passions, like theatre and reading fiction.

Has that been difficult?

I miss them, as I miss my friends. But, just as when I had babies, when I started this book my priorities became suddenly, abundantly clear. I never felt plagued and I never longed for balance. What I was doing just felt right, and I knew this level of focus and absorption was temporary. Hopefully my old friends understand, and in the process of this book I've met new friends -- women who are kind, giving, thoughtful, and smart. I feel blessed to have them all in my life now.

You might also like:

6 Ways to Leverage LinkedIn for a Better Job

Are You Playing It Too Safe At Work?

The Dirty Word for Women