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Can You Get Stronger Just By Thinking In a New Way? (Yes)

  • By Renee Heiss, YourTango
  • January 24, 2014

4. Think about your relationships. Most of us go through life dealing with everyday inconveniences, problems, and issues that seem to crop up when least expected. Look at those things through the glasses of an improved mental kingdom. Think about your relationship with your spouse, partner, children, boss, parents, siblings, etc.  How might they be improved through something you say or do? Suppose you just had a huge argument with your teenager about going to see that new movie when it premieres at midnight before the SATs. Think about ways to improve this situation: Instead of arguing with her, grounding her, and entering into a screaming match, explain the logic behind your objections, show her that you're offering these thoughts because you care about her future. 

And's the biggie: Let her decide whether she wants to see the movie on Friday night when it premieres, or on Saturday night as a reward for making the right decision about not being tired for the SATs. Speaking from experience, I think your teenager will choose the mature option when confronted with the wisdom of your years! When you think about ways to improve your relationships, you will change your actions, which will change your life.

5. Think about your future rather than the past. One of the worst things you can say is, "But I've always done it that way." Maybe that old way wasn't the best way. Or perhaps you hyper-focus on what you left behind rather than what you can achieve in the future. Sure, you can learn from your mistakes, but let them go! Thinking too much about the past leaves no room in your mental kingdom for thoughts of the future. After all, it's the future you want to change, right? 

You want a better tomorrow. You want better relationships. You want more money.  You want to help more people. When you set your goals in Step 2, those were forward-thinking line items on your life schedule.  Put the past behind you and you’ll be better equipped to plan for a brighter future.  When you think about the future, you change the actions that will influence your future, which in turn, will create a bright light on your horizon. 

Thoughts control who you are, where you are going, and how you will get there. What are your thoughts telling you? What can you change about your thoughts to strengthen your mental kingdom so you change your actions and change your life? 

This story was provided by our content partner, YourTango, a digital media company dedicated to love and relationships. No matter what love stage our users are in — single, taken, engaged, married, starting over, or complicated — we help them live their best love lives. Written by Renee Heiss.

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