Yourtango logo

We’re All A Work in Progress

How to be happy on your quest for self-improvement

  • By Moreah Vestan, YourTango
  • February 13, 2014

5) Try Emotional Freedom Technique
Read about and practice Emotional Freedom Technique. Seven friends of mine practiced it at my New Year's Eve party for 20 minutes, and one found enough relief that she cried. Check it out at or is a valuable resource and takes you through the entire EFT process. It's connected to acupuncture points and is meant to be a healing process.

6) Write It Down
Write down what you intend to let go of. Write each item three times. For me, that would be my Inner Critic. When she nags, "Moreah, clear your desk. Don't leave papers on the floor", instead of feeling shame or annoyance, I prefer to say something like "I hear you, and I don't want to think about that now. Goodbye." So I write it down 3 times: "I don't need to do what my Inner Critic says." When you've done that, put the three statements in the fire, in the garbage or flush them. If you notice the unwanted experience again, just say to yourself "I let go of that" and put your attention elsewhere. OK? OK!

You should also write down the areas where you'd like to improve. I listened to a webinar by Jeannette Maw on December 24 about Slacker Manifesting. She suggested not trying so hard to reach our goals. Since that day, I've written a sentence about what I want to be, do or feel. On my partner page, I may write "I love it when we dance and come home and cuddle" even though I've not met that current right guy yet. However, writing down my feelings has helped me cope with them. 

On my prosperity page, one of the sentences said "I love that I made $___ in January, even though that's more than I've made before in a month. I did notice this morning when I was making calls about my Managing Difficult Conversations workshop that I kept calling because I wanted to meet that goal.

My getting organized page includes "I love how expansive I feel when I see the clear floor and the cleared desk." Part of the feeling happy with yourself as you improve could be the joy you get each day as you read each sentence from the days before in your journal and then add to it. So decide now what you want to improve, and begin the daily sentences as you visualize who and how you will be when those statements are true and current.

7) Find Your Personality Type
I've found Enneagrams very instructive. Knowing I'm an 'enneagram 7', an adventurer, and that none of the 9 personality styles is right OR wrong, I read and note the ways a 7 is at her best or not at her best. I am easily distracted by many things, and I love to Google many subjects or to follow up on most anything that intrigues or stimulates my imagination. Just now, as I'm writing at a coffee shop with a friend, I got the urge for a cookie. No Inner Critic stepped in. So I paid $1.75 and put the change in my coin purse. My habit has often been to drop it into my backpack and find it later. I know I want to be more conscientious about handling things at the moment, so I took the extra seconds to pull out the coin purse and add the quarter. And I felt happy with myself. To find which personality style you are, go to and take the tests of the sentences you resonate with. If you want more sites, Google EFT or email me. I love to find and share resources!

This story was provided by our content partner, YourTango, a digital media company dedicated to love and relationships. No matter what love stage our users are in — single, taken, engaged, married, starting over, or complicated — we help them live their best love lives. Written by Moreah Vestan

More from YourTango:
Listen Up, Ladies! Here's What His Body Language Is Telling You
15 Happy Quotes To Make You (And Your Loved One) Smile
How To Be Happy: It's A Process

Tagged in: Inspiration, Live, YourTango