Headsm full disclosure

I’ll Admit It: I’m in This Relationship for the Money

So, I started seeing someone. And I think it has long-term potential.

You know how sometimes you just know? We were introduced by a mutual friend, and I trusted him immediately. During our first meeting, I revealed more than I expected — about who I am, what I want, my hopes and fears for the future. I liked his silver hair, his big grey eyes, his quick, slightly self-deprecating manner. 

What can I say? He listened to me. He really cared. He said he was impressed by me, but could see I needed a bit more structure in my life, and some support wouldn’t hurt. He was right. After knowing me for less than two hours, he said that he could see us together for the next 20 years. I’m not kidding. When I walked home that evening, I was … buoyant. Optimistic. And most importantly, I felt empowered.

Did I mention he’s in a relationship? Oh, and he’s gay, too. But that’s fine. I’m just using him for his money… advice. Yes. He’s my new financial planner. 

Oh, there’ve been others, sure. Years ago, a guy who promised me the moon, then had some kind of breakdown and changed careers. Then there was Dana, who I loved, but I moved away and our lives went in different directions. 

But Michael is different. He’s here to stay. No, this is not a story about a damsel in distress who can’t figure it out and needs a man to do it for her. That story’s played. But as with any relationship — romantic, familial, platonic — the best ones are partnerships. The other person supports your weaknesses and highlight your strengths. 

I’ve been working as a solopreneur for two years. I’m proud of what I’ve done in that time: reinvented my personal brand, established solid working relationships with trusted clients, expanded my skill set. Got a few new professional notches on the old belt. But I haven’t been doing much with my money except spending some, while saving a bunch in a digital pocket to hand over to Uncle Sam.

I’ve had great months and not-so-great months, and my excuse for staying low to the ground and light on my feet financially was that I should just keep everything liquid and accessible.  Why? Because, “Hey, I’m new to this!” and “I don’t know where money’s coming from next so better keep it handy right here in my mattress!” 

That isn’t going to cut it anymore.

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