The Secret to Living a More Confident Life

October 09, 2014

Connect Member

Women's Leadership Coach and creator of FIERCE FABULOUS FREE

Many ambitious women that I talk to say they want more confidence. More confidence so they can start or grow their business, write a book, speak to groups or increase their exposure. More confidence to go after that big promotion, seek out a great relationship, pursue adventures or dream bigger. 

Since so many want it, let’s talk about confidence. The only problem is…

Confidence is a myth — at least in the way we conventionally define it.

I have yet to meet a “confident person” who feels great about herself all the time. Confident people generally have the same self-doubt, insecurity and dark moments as the rest of us. And while it’s very easy to relate a person’s confidence to their circumstances — their physical appearance, fabulous love life,  great teeth and beautiful singing voice — I’m sure if you took a moment, you could think of someone you know who exudes confidence but does not have the “perfect” life, or someone who has that “perfect” life but doesn’t feel confident.  

If we look a little deeper, we see that circumstances don’t create confidence — it’s actually the other way around.

Confident people attract better circumstances — and more success — into their lives.

Great news, right? This means that we can stop waiting for life to perfectly align and make it happen ourselves. So, how do we do that?

It can be helpful to take note of limiting beliefs — the beliefs that seem to keep us stuck and stagnant, the beliefs that remind us to feel badly about ourselves — and try not to let them control you. Often, that works! But simply dealing with the negative thoughts is not really enough. 

The key to feeling confident in business and life is to look at your underlying limiting beliefs and take action. Because confidence is not about always feeling like you’re on top of the world, it’s about being bold in spite of not always feeling that way.

The primary difference between “confident” and “unconfident” people is that confident people continually decide to keep going, regardless of fear or circumstances, and their action actually creates a sense of confidence.

Are you willing to move through feelings of discomfort to live a more confident life?

If so, what would your confident self do next?
Would she wear a red dress?
Would she speak in public?
Would she make bold business moves?

Do those things. It will be scary, but on the other side of the action is your confidence. On the other side of confidence is your great life.

Keep shining your light in the world. Our future depends on your freedom.

Nisha Moodley is a member of the DailyWorth Connect program. Read more about the program here.