Blankie is to Baby as Work is to Mommy

I’ve always found comfort in my professional self. The me that puts on tailored clothes, carries a laptop and knows enough jargon to hang with my B-School friends. I’m good at work. It’s what I do, who I am. Or was. 

Two and a half years ago, when I became a mother for the first time, I had an identity crisis. I couldn’t just work all the time. I had to stop. Fast forward to January 2009, and I’ve done it again. Productive me has gone had another baby. Two years ago, my Web consulting company, Soapbxx, was just getting started. We had three clients and only one employee. I had no problem putting everything on hold to learn “how to mommy.” This time, however, we’re up to seven team team members, maybe 15 clients, and I have to say that I couldn’t see taking even a few days off. I was on client calls during labor, waving at my nurse to “come back in five” so I could wrap up a meeting, all the while wondering – am I so seriously immersed in work that I don’t know how to stop? Yep.
modern_motherSo four days after delivering my second miracle, here I am at my desk, working. I’ve been called “heroic” and “amazing” for being back at work so soon. Why do my friends commend me? Can’t they say “Amanda, you’re disturbed and you need to shut down your damn computer.” My kids could very well end up in therapy in 20 years saying “I know my Mom loved me, but I felt like she was always distracted by work. She wasn’t always as present with me as I wanted her to be.”
It certainly gives me something to think about.