6 Ways to Powerfully Detach and Still Get What You Want

August 05, 2015

Connect Member

Entrepreneurial Soul Coach, founder & CEO of Move The Crowd, training for conscious entrepreneurs.


A confession: Achievement is very important to me, and I always want to be in the proximity of people who are moving and shaking in the world. But from the kindergarten playground to the halls of the corporate world, I can tell you that I’ve always been respected by the in-crowd but never really part of them. I’ve always been at the table ... but not really.

A number of years ago, I put myself on a try-to-fit-in-relax-and-be-cool-diet. I’d “do me” and let the chips (and people) fall where they may. I’d trust that I’d get what I was supposed to get.

Soon after, I attended a prestigious gathering hosted on a compound with Hollywood A-listers and kick-ass activists. My dream mash-up! I tried to mingle with a few folks I admired. But any feeble attempt I made to engage was met with one or two words, followed by a quick exit. This happened the whole weekend.

This experience was a game-changer for me, because after much soul searching, I realized that I had conveniently forgotten my diet. All my “Pick me!” conditioning took over the minute I touched down at the event, and I didn’t even allow myself to enjoy being on a gorgeous mountain, with tons of other amazing people.

When I was finally able to pull myself together, I made a vow: “What is for me, is for me. And nothing and no one can stand in the way of that which is for me.”  

One of our greatest sources of power in life is our ability to practice what Deepak Chopra calls the Law of Divine Detachment. I call it the mantra of Trust and Allow. That means we believe our No. 1 commitment in life is to show up and bring our full presence. Some things will align for us and others will not, but our job is to not be “attached” to any of it. We need to trust that there are forces operating beyond what our eyes can see. And those forces both guide and protect us accordingly.

This understanding has been one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. It has enabled a whole new level of joy, fun, freedom, and ease to be available to me in any situation. I now live with an open heart and I let the universe handle the rest — here’s how you can, too.

1. Slow Down and Breathe: No matter what I may assume is happening, when I slow down and give myself space to ground myself and breathe, I always come up with a better plan than when I am shooting from the hip.

2. Challenge Your Perceptions: The minute I think I know something is the minute I start to challenge myself. I ask myself, “What do you want to create right now?” If it’s not what I’m experiencing, then I invite in another perception.

3. Pay Attention to What’s Really Important: Sometimes we want something just because we think we should. It looks shiny and cool to us, and we believe that we should have it. But really, it has no bearing on what really matters. This is when our ego has to take a back seat so that our values can drive.

4. Trust Your Inner Guide: Your perception might be off, but your intuition is always pointing to something. When you get quiet enough, it will speak. Let it guide you toward whatever solution you may be seeking. Follow the feeling of inner peace, and it will put you on the right track.

5. Laugh at Your Shortcomings: No matter how powerful and capable we are, sometimes we forget, sometimes we make mistakes, and sometimes we fall short of our own expectations. Beating ourselves up is not only fruitless, but unproductive. Laughing invites learning, and learning is always valuable.

6. Embrace Certainty: When you’ve practiced the first five steps, summon the certainty that what is for you is not only for you, but also is already on its way. Like a person lost in the wilderness, hug the tree of certainty, and you will be found.

Rha Goddess is a member of the DailyWorth Connect program. Read more about the program here.